Well, it seems I've been ignoring this blog for a while now. Sorry about that. Busy running the other one and getting stuff off to publishers. Leah is an incredible help on that front.
The big news is we're headed across the country to Virginia in October. I will finally get to prove to my friends that Leah is real, not a robot I made, and hopefully convince them she's not an actress I paid to have a wedding with me. They might subject her to various sanity tests, but she's a trooper and is willing to go through with them if need be.
Yay for visiting friends!
Tuesday, July 30, 2013
Tuesday, July 9, 2013
Trust
Whom do you trust most in the world?
For me, that's easy: I trust my wife. I would have no problems giving her access to all the money I've made, complete access to my secrets, or putting my life in her hands. I've done the first two and I effectively do the third every time I sleep next to her or ask her to drive.
It's odd that trusting God is a more difficult thing for me to do. He has more power to work good in my life than Leah does. He's proven Himself good by giving me her, saving me from my destructive thought patterns, giving me money while I pursue a writing career, blessing us at every turn, and protecting us from more than we know. By those same blessings, He's proven that He cares about me personally and wants the best for me.
Why then do I still have such a hard time having faith? Our money has been blessed. We actually have more in savings now than when we got married. Some of that is people giving us wedding money, some is from her old employer needing for part-time work for a few months, and some is from totally unexpected sources, like the IRS. God has been providing, but the human side of me is wondering how long the blessings will hold up and what I'm going to do to provide for my wife and I.
This is not an inspirational post. It's kind of just a get-it-out-there post because I need to get out of my own way and trust in God. He's been providing for us so far. There's no reason to believe He'll stop so long as we're in His will.
For me, that's easy: I trust my wife. I would have no problems giving her access to all the money I've made, complete access to my secrets, or putting my life in her hands. I've done the first two and I effectively do the third every time I sleep next to her or ask her to drive.
It's odd that trusting God is a more difficult thing for me to do. He has more power to work good in my life than Leah does. He's proven Himself good by giving me her, saving me from my destructive thought patterns, giving me money while I pursue a writing career, blessing us at every turn, and protecting us from more than we know. By those same blessings, He's proven that He cares about me personally and wants the best for me.
Why then do I still have such a hard time having faith? Our money has been blessed. We actually have more in savings now than when we got married. Some of that is people giving us wedding money, some is from her old employer needing for part-time work for a few months, and some is from totally unexpected sources, like the IRS. God has been providing, but the human side of me is wondering how long the blessings will hold up and what I'm going to do to provide for my wife and I.
This is not an inspirational post. It's kind of just a get-it-out-there post because I need to get out of my own way and trust in God. He's been providing for us so far. There's no reason to believe He'll stop so long as we're in His will.
Tuesday, July 2, 2013
A Lover, Not a Fighter
I don't know how well you keep up with politics. I do a little, partly because of the poisoning of the northern VA climate, and there have been some major developments over the last week, most notably the striking down of DOMA and the Texas filibuster on the vote to restrict abortions.
I'm not going to get into these decisions or what I think of them. This is not a political blog. What I will say, though, is that anger if you're against what happened doesn't help. Jesus had the power to call down legions of angels to do His bidding, even if His bidding was to kill every last living creature on the planet. He could have taken over the Roman Empire in a day if He'd wanted to, destroying all temples and idols, showing people His glory and how they should worship Him.
You never see Him do that, though. He didn't even run for a city office. He wasn't about trying to change the law; He was about trying to change hearts.
The only thing He did about the law was fulfill His own because that's the law that mattered to Him. He paid taxes and lived by Roman laws, yes, because He knew God had given the Romans power over that part of the earth for a period of time, but He wasn't concerned with what laws they enacted or fighting them if He didn't like them. He wasn't campaigning against those who were for the disagreeable laws or appealing to have His case heard. He simply loved others and He could do so because He followed a higher law.
He wants you to live as He did. This means that we're not to concern ourselves with what laws our government puts out as much as following His laws: love God with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength and love your neighbor as yourself. Fighting against those who disagree with you is not letting His love flow through you. Love changes people far more easily than fighting. If you want them to live and believe like you, show them the love they could live with rather than the anger they want to avoid.
I'm not going to get into these decisions or what I think of them. This is not a political blog. What I will say, though, is that anger if you're against what happened doesn't help. Jesus had the power to call down legions of angels to do His bidding, even if His bidding was to kill every last living creature on the planet. He could have taken over the Roman Empire in a day if He'd wanted to, destroying all temples and idols, showing people His glory and how they should worship Him.
You never see Him do that, though. He didn't even run for a city office. He wasn't about trying to change the law; He was about trying to change hearts.
The only thing He did about the law was fulfill His own because that's the law that mattered to Him. He paid taxes and lived by Roman laws, yes, because He knew God had given the Romans power over that part of the earth for a period of time, but He wasn't concerned with what laws they enacted or fighting them if He didn't like them. He wasn't campaigning against those who were for the disagreeable laws or appealing to have His case heard. He simply loved others and He could do so because He followed a higher law.
He wants you to live as He did. This means that we're not to concern ourselves with what laws our government puts out as much as following His laws: love God with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength and love your neighbor as yourself. Fighting against those who disagree with you is not letting His love flow through you. Love changes people far more easily than fighting. If you want them to live and believe like you, show them the love they could live with rather than the anger they want to avoid.
Monday, June 17, 2013
My Fair Lady
I went to the Renaissance Festival yesterday with Leah. If you haven't been, it's a big fair about Medieval Times through the Renaissance. Leah loves going. She has even made a handful of costumes to wear and gets compliments on them, even from people who work at the Festival.
There's a post about drifting off into a fantasy world on my other blog (getconfidence.wordpress.com), but the point of this one is different: I just want you to consider what makes you happy. Don't think about things that you believe would make you happy, but just about the things that already do.
Most of the things that you want but don't have are being idealized in your head. They usually don't end up being as good as you expected and are almost invariably different. That's why it's important to focus on what you do have. There's nothing wrong with wanting to be married or wanting that dream job, but don't let your daydreams get in the way of your reality. Focus on your reality and be happy with what you have; only then will you be in the proper mindset to chase after something better because only then will you be satisfied with who you are and where you are in life if you don't get it.
There's a post about drifting off into a fantasy world on my other blog (getconfidence.wordpress.com), but the point of this one is different: I just want you to consider what makes you happy. Don't think about things that you believe would make you happy, but just about the things that already do.
Most of the things that you want but don't have are being idealized in your head. They usually don't end up being as good as you expected and are almost invariably different. That's why it's important to focus on what you do have. There's nothing wrong with wanting to be married or wanting that dream job, but don't let your daydreams get in the way of your reality. Focus on your reality and be happy with what you have; only then will you be in the proper mindset to chase after something better because only then will you be satisfied with who you are and where you are in life if you don't get it.
Monday, June 10, 2013
You Lucky Ducks
My loyal readers on here are going to get a sneak peek of the topic I'm putting up at my other blog next week. :) I like working ahead.
I was at church yesterday and I noticed that there was a part of me that wanted to get my wife's attention during praise and worship. I had interrupted her during her devotions that morning, not without good reason, but also not without ulterior motive. I was asking her an important question then, but also wanted her attention as well as an answer.
I thought about this once I realized what I was doing and came up with an answer. When you're seeking your value in something outside of God, it will never be enough to be important. You have to be the most important. I know full well that my wife loves me more than she even loves herself. More than she loves her family. More than she loves the little boys she was a nanny to for a couple years. I am the most important person in her life, without question. I know that. Yet that wasn't enough because someone other than me was getting attention during praise and worship.
I stopped myself after just brushing my hand over her shoulder, but even that was me trying to take her attention away from God and tell me by her attention that I was more important.
There are two parts to this: the first is that if you get your value from your work, from your spouse, from your looks, or anything outside of God, you'll not only have no peace, but you'll be trying to be #1 in the eyes of everyone from whom you're getting value. Being good won't be enough, especially when it seems you're being forgotten for the moment.
The second part is that other people are doing the same to you. It's why you need to be rock-solid in your priorities, especially having your relationship with God first. Your spouse might get offended at being left alone for a while each day, but your time with God should come first.
Not only do you have to guard your heart, you have to recognize what these people are doing and why. They're (usually) not trying to take you away from your relationship with God. They're simply starving for their self-worth to be affirmed, and that means trying to be deemed very important to you whenever they're around. Keep your time with your Father, but after that, help others to find their worth in Him. Once they do, they won't have to seek it from others and their soul can finally be satisfied. (Proverbs 27:7).
I was at church yesterday and I noticed that there was a part of me that wanted to get my wife's attention during praise and worship. I had interrupted her during her devotions that morning, not without good reason, but also not without ulterior motive. I was asking her an important question then, but also wanted her attention as well as an answer.
I thought about this once I realized what I was doing and came up with an answer. When you're seeking your value in something outside of God, it will never be enough to be important. You have to be the most important. I know full well that my wife loves me more than she even loves herself. More than she loves her family. More than she loves the little boys she was a nanny to for a couple years. I am the most important person in her life, without question. I know that. Yet that wasn't enough because someone other than me was getting attention during praise and worship.
I stopped myself after just brushing my hand over her shoulder, but even that was me trying to take her attention away from God and tell me by her attention that I was more important.
There are two parts to this: the first is that if you get your value from your work, from your spouse, from your looks, or anything outside of God, you'll not only have no peace, but you'll be trying to be #1 in the eyes of everyone from whom you're getting value. Being good won't be enough, especially when it seems you're being forgotten for the moment.
The second part is that other people are doing the same to you. It's why you need to be rock-solid in your priorities, especially having your relationship with God first. Your spouse might get offended at being left alone for a while each day, but your time with God should come first.
Not only do you have to guard your heart, you have to recognize what these people are doing and why. They're (usually) not trying to take you away from your relationship with God. They're simply starving for their self-worth to be affirmed, and that means trying to be deemed very important to you whenever they're around. Keep your time with your Father, but after that, help others to find their worth in Him. Once they do, they won't have to seek it from others and their soul can finally be satisfied. (Proverbs 27:7).
Monday, June 3, 2013
Fare Thee Well
Ok, so normally I don't do this, but I liked this post so much, I thought I'd share it here, too. It's on my other blog at getconfidence.wordpress.com, but I know some people aren't following that one (yet...hint, hint. ;) ).
One of the most interesting parts of self-confidence is reflected in what we think of others. The higher our own self-esteem, the more we want the best for others. Generally speaking, the lower it is, the more prone we are to believing the worst about others. There are exceptions, of course, where people believe another person is nigh infallible, but this most often happens when the unconfident person is getting their sense of worth from the person they’ve put on a pedestal.
There’s a very good reason for this: it’s instinctual. We believe the same thing about love and acceptance that we do about food and money, that there’s only so much to go around, so we have to grab all we can. With our fellow humans, it’s true. We only have so much time and energy to devote to other people, so our love is something we only have so much of. Because of the constraint on our resources, we tend to make others earn it and expect to earn it from others.
Fortunately, God isn’t like this. He has all the time in the world, literally, and can be everywhere at once (for those who like “Word of the Day” things, that mean’s He’s ubiquitous 
) so He never has to dash off to meet someone else. Better still, you don’t have to earn His love; it’s a gift.
) so He never has to dash off to meet someone else. Better still, you don’t have to earn His love; it’s a gift.
This means that all the love and acceptance you’re seeking are already yours for the asking. You don’t have to earn them from other people. You don’t have to prove yourself worthy to them, neither do you have to demand they prove themselves to you. You’re free.
It means no more fighting for affection, no more seeing other people as competition for what you’re seeking, no more putting on your finely-honed facade in front of the world. There’s just nothing from them that you need.
And if you’re not competing with them, it’s easy to let them go on their merry way and wish them the best. You’ll love them more because you feel loved by God. You’ll want the best for them because you know the best is going to be provided for you. You’ll want them to experience the freedom and joy you are.
The flip side to this is that this gift from God, once understood, can’t help but produce a lot of humility. That we’ve been deemed valuable enough for Jesus to die for us is so amazing that I’m at a loss for words. I can’t pay that back, not in a billion years of perfect service. If you realize what you’ve been saved from and what you’ve been given, you won’t judge others simply because you know they are no more lost than you were, no more in need of God’s help and mercy, no more in need of knowing how much they are loved. Not judging them will help keep you from assuming the worst about their motives when they do hurt or offend you and it will let you forgive them much more quickly.
Notice that here, too, you’re getting the benefits of a stress-free life because you don’t have a grudge or dislike of someone hanging over your head. You love them and it helps both of you. And if you have everything you need, why would you have any reason to not give others what they need?
Tuesday, May 21, 2013
Well, it's been a while, hasn't it? Marriage will do that to a blog.
If anyone hasn't heard, yep, I got hitched. Tied the knot. United our two houses. For fans of Game of Thrones, wrapped the cloak of my house's colors 'round her shoulders. Paid my sheep and goats to her father. And couldn't be happier about it. If you haven't yet met her, you really are missing out on knowing a truly wonderful and soft-hearted person.
From now on, I'm going to try to be on the ball here like a circus elephant. I'm probably not going to write daily, but I will probably try to write at least twice a week. This blog's purpose may change somewhat from being about confidence to being more varied, with reflections on the nature of God, life, subatomic particles, Dr. Who, or anything else that happens to kindle my interest at the moment. If you'd like to get all the thoughts on confidence, forgiveness, or the other books and projects I'm working on, I've launched a second blog for that: getconfidence.wordpress.com. Actually, I'd consider it a great help if you shared that with friends or told people about it (publishers and agents apparently appreciate when people other than your mother are your fans). A link on your site or blog works wonders.
Ok, enough shameless requests for publicity. How are you all doing? Seriously, news has been scarce since I moved this side of the Mississippi. Let me know what's been going on with you.
I don't have all that much else to say at the moment, as I really should be getting back to making a more serious point about the lesson I've learned in the first few weeks of marriage, so for now, I will leave you with a joke:
Before you insult someone, try to walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you insult them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.
Saturday, August 25, 2012
An Embarrassment of Riches
I am with Leah almost every day. We laugh, we talk, we hug, we kiss...and at the end of every date, neither of us wants to let the other go. We know it must happen, but every parting is an exercise in willpower. It doesn't matter that we know we'll see each other tomorrow, even if it's in the morning, such as it will be later today (oh the joys of typing past midnight!).
Why is it not like this with God?
When I'm with Leah, I feel amazing. I'm entranced by her. Every new thing she tells me about herself has my full attention. Every serious conversation we have, every time we get lost in each other's eyes, even when we just watch a movie cuddling together on the couch - she is wonderful to be with no matter what we're doing. I feel like I have an embarrassment of riches with her because of her intellect, sense of humor, how well we match, and how accepting she is of my flaws. These would be enough already for me to fall for her, but she's generous, beautiful, humble, easy to please, and has several of the same hobbies I do. That phrase, "waiting for the other shoe to drop" doesn't apply here because I'm still waiting for the first one to drop. I'm not naive enough to think she's perfect - I'm learning her flaws as she's learning mine - but she's such a great match for me that I find myself in awe.
The problem is that, while I recognize she is a gift from God, I don't seem to realize in my heart that He couldn't have matched me up so perfectly if He didn't know me better than I know myself or if He didn't love me more than I love myself. I have to fight to keep from losing sight of the Giver in the celebration of the gift. I know in my head how important it is to keep God first, yet my heart seems to always have different ideas, self-destructive ideas of seeking joy and contentment everywhere but the true Source of them.
And all of this brings me back to my earlier question of why I can't feel the same about God as I do with her.
Don't get me wrong. I love God. Between God and Leah, I would choose God. Yet I don't have the same passion for God that I do for her. When my Bible study time ends in the morning, my thought is, "Ok, what do I want for breakfast?" not, "When can I do that again? Tomorrow is too far away."
The problem is that I don't see Him for who He is. I see Him still as the source of things that can give me happiness rather than the source of my joy and comfort itself. I don't see Him as wonderful, merely His gifts. In an effort to change that, or rather to at least begin the process of change, I'm going to go through some of the aspects and roles of God.
First, and the only one I'll get to today, is that He is a God of goodness. He could have let us burn for choosing ourselves over Him, yet He redeemed us at the cost of His own life. Imagine that you sign a contract with someone in which you'll wash his car, do his laundry, clean his house, cook his meals, and do all his shopping every day for fifty years and, if you can do all of these things flawlessly for that entire time, he'll pay you $100 million. One mistake, though, and you get nothing. You start in on the cleaning and on just the third day, you leave a smudge on his car. Instead of tossing you aside, he cleans the smudge, then agrees to do all the chores required of you, does them perfectly, and hands you the money that you didn't deserve. He made a covenant with you originally, then superseded his covenant by paying your share of it. All you have to do is let Him.
Our deal with God is even more generous than that. We get Heaven for eternity rather than the penalty for our sins. We get life instead of death. And we have to do nothing but believe in Him and accept the gift.
If God stopped there, that would be so much more than we deserve. He's only just beginning, though. This is not a name-it, claim-it message, but God wants to give you good things, beginning with more of Him. He wants you to take hold of His strength (Isaiah 27:5) and ask Him for wisdom (James 1:5). He wants you to come to Him for your needs because He wants to fill those needs with good things (Matthew 7:11). He offers a relationship with Him, peace, wisdom, and our needs being met. These may not always be our earthly needs (much less the desires we've misclassified as leads), but they are always what is truly best for us.
The children of Israel saw ten plagues on Egypt before Pharaoh let them go. Then they saw the parting of the Red Sea and the pillar of cloud by day and fire by night. They ate manna from Heaven and still they complained against God ten times within the first year, so God said only Joshua and Caleb would see the Promised Land of all who were 20 years or older. Yet even though God had said they'd die in the wilderness, neither their clothes nor their sandals wore out. God protected them throughout. He let them eat manna, even after they spoke against Him. He still led them with the pillar. At every turn, God is gracious to them, giving them much more than just salvation.
Manna didn't have to taste like honey cakes, but the Bible says it did. It was apparently delicious. That was an unnecessary blessing. It could have tasted like plain oatmeal and it would have been a miracle. God just wanted to be good to them. God is not the God of just enough, but of abundantly more than you could ever dream of. At every opportunity, He is good to you without fail. Once we realize that in our hearts, we can start to desire the other aspects of God. Next post, we will discuss God's attention to detail.
Why is it not like this with God?
When I'm with Leah, I feel amazing. I'm entranced by her. Every new thing she tells me about herself has my full attention. Every serious conversation we have, every time we get lost in each other's eyes, even when we just watch a movie cuddling together on the couch - she is wonderful to be with no matter what we're doing. I feel like I have an embarrassment of riches with her because of her intellect, sense of humor, how well we match, and how accepting she is of my flaws. These would be enough already for me to fall for her, but she's generous, beautiful, humble, easy to please, and has several of the same hobbies I do. That phrase, "waiting for the other shoe to drop" doesn't apply here because I'm still waiting for the first one to drop. I'm not naive enough to think she's perfect - I'm learning her flaws as she's learning mine - but she's such a great match for me that I find myself in awe.
The problem is that, while I recognize she is a gift from God, I don't seem to realize in my heart that He couldn't have matched me up so perfectly if He didn't know me better than I know myself or if He didn't love me more than I love myself. I have to fight to keep from losing sight of the Giver in the celebration of the gift. I know in my head how important it is to keep God first, yet my heart seems to always have different ideas, self-destructive ideas of seeking joy and contentment everywhere but the true Source of them.
And all of this brings me back to my earlier question of why I can't feel the same about God as I do with her.
Don't get me wrong. I love God. Between God and Leah, I would choose God. Yet I don't have the same passion for God that I do for her. When my Bible study time ends in the morning, my thought is, "Ok, what do I want for breakfast?" not, "When can I do that again? Tomorrow is too far away."
The problem is that I don't see Him for who He is. I see Him still as the source of things that can give me happiness rather than the source of my joy and comfort itself. I don't see Him as wonderful, merely His gifts. In an effort to change that, or rather to at least begin the process of change, I'm going to go through some of the aspects and roles of God.
First, and the only one I'll get to today, is that He is a God of goodness. He could have let us burn for choosing ourselves over Him, yet He redeemed us at the cost of His own life. Imagine that you sign a contract with someone in which you'll wash his car, do his laundry, clean his house, cook his meals, and do all his shopping every day for fifty years and, if you can do all of these things flawlessly for that entire time, he'll pay you $100 million. One mistake, though, and you get nothing. You start in on the cleaning and on just the third day, you leave a smudge on his car. Instead of tossing you aside, he cleans the smudge, then agrees to do all the chores required of you, does them perfectly, and hands you the money that you didn't deserve. He made a covenant with you originally, then superseded his covenant by paying your share of it. All you have to do is let Him.
Our deal with God is even more generous than that. We get Heaven for eternity rather than the penalty for our sins. We get life instead of death. And we have to do nothing but believe in Him and accept the gift.
If God stopped there, that would be so much more than we deserve. He's only just beginning, though. This is not a name-it, claim-it message, but God wants to give you good things, beginning with more of Him. He wants you to take hold of His strength (Isaiah 27:5) and ask Him for wisdom (James 1:5). He wants you to come to Him for your needs because He wants to fill those needs with good things (Matthew 7:11). He offers a relationship with Him, peace, wisdom, and our needs being met. These may not always be our earthly needs (much less the desires we've misclassified as leads), but they are always what is truly best for us.
The children of Israel saw ten plagues on Egypt before Pharaoh let them go. Then they saw the parting of the Red Sea and the pillar of cloud by day and fire by night. They ate manna from Heaven and still they complained against God ten times within the first year, so God said only Joshua and Caleb would see the Promised Land of all who were 20 years or older. Yet even though God had said they'd die in the wilderness, neither their clothes nor their sandals wore out. God protected them throughout. He let them eat manna, even after they spoke against Him. He still led them with the pillar. At every turn, God is gracious to them, giving them much more than just salvation.
Manna didn't have to taste like honey cakes, but the Bible says it did. It was apparently delicious. That was an unnecessary blessing. It could have tasted like plain oatmeal and it would have been a miracle. God just wanted to be good to them. God is not the God of just enough, but of abundantly more than you could ever dream of. At every opportunity, He is good to you without fail. Once we realize that in our hearts, we can start to desire the other aspects of God. Next post, we will discuss God's attention to detail.
Monday, August 6, 2012
My Tank Runneth Over
In The Five Love Languages, Gary Chapman presents a concept he calls the "love tank." It's the idea that in order to love someone, you have to have love in your love tank. Your tank is depleted whenever you love someone and is refilled whenever you are loved. It explains why it's so difficult for those who feel unloved to love others and why those who feel very loved can more easily do it.
One note I'd like to make on it, though, is that many Christians want to pour out a pure love for others, yet don't have enough pure love flowing in. Imagine that you are a waiter or waitress going around the restaurant refilling people's glasses with water. They want pure, clean water, yet you got the water from a rusty tap and the pitcher you're using had been used as a makeshift flower vase but wasn't washed afterward. What are the odds that the water you're pouring out is even close to pure?
Your love is no different. You can't give out any better or purer than you're receiving. To truly love others, to give them what they really need, you have to be getting what you really need. We so often look for love from other people and seek to fill our love tanks with friends, relationships, and family, yet we don't realize that all this love, wonderful as it may feel, is still contaminated if it is only human. Love is only pure if it comes from the source of all love, God. He can show His love through others, certainly, but these others have to have received it from Him. You can't give what you don't have yourself.
I'm not going to offer the overly simplistic advice of "just get in the Word and pray" if you want to love God more. It's good and necessary, but your relationship with God should be alive and real, not formulaic. Besides, I'm still working out how to desire Him more myself. This post is just to offer another reason we all need Him. :)
Thursday, July 26, 2012
A Foreign Language
This post isn't really that theological, just something I've been thinking about. On my first date with my girlfriend, Leah, I asked her what her love languages are. Her top one is my bottom one and my second one is her fourth, but my top one and her second one are the same. It worried me slightly at first because it's a shift in how I usually express affection and so if one or both of us didn't successfully shift, the other could end up feeling unloved, despite the true feelings of both of us.
As I got involved with her, though, I found that the shift for both of us came easily. It got me wondering whether we're supposed to have primary love languages or those that don't speak to us. It seems that our love languages are set when we're kids by those who know how to express themselves well in one language or who express themselves terribly in another. For example, I heard so many different things about myself growing up that words of affirmation started to be meaningless to me. I'd be complimented to no end at home and then ridiculed by my friends. It seemed over-the-top both ways, but I felt it was more likely that those insulting me were telling it like it is since it's easier to be nice (especially for family who love you) than to say hard things, so I started ignoring the words of affirmation. It's been difficult for me to give a compliment since and they still don't mean much to me when I receive them.
But is this how it's supposed to be?
Somehow, I just don't think so. Consider Jesus. He showed all five love languages almost constantly. He spoke kindly and encouragingly to those who were lost. He served by walking to those who were sick and healing them and then by washing the disciples' feet. He spent three years constantly with the disciples, giving them quality time. When He healed someone, it was almost always through touch. And He gave us Himself, salvation, and then the Holy Spirit, not to mention the two separate occasions he turned a small amount of food into enough for thousands.
He accepted their praise and when they touched Him (I'm sure He was hugged countless times by those He'd healed). He accepted an act of service when the woman washed His feet. He accepted gifts as well (unlikely that He had enough money to support Himself and twelve other men for three years from his earnings as a carpenter), including the expensive ointment the woman used on His feet. And He died so that we could have an eternity up in Heaven with Him.
I think we were meant to show and accept love equally well in all five love languages and that we've been limiting ourselves and allowing ourselves to feel less loved than we are by ignoring some of these based on our past.
Here's what I want you to do: examine your love languages and ask yourself why you do or don't feel loved when someone shows their affection that way. If the answer is something in your past, I want you to forgive the person (if they turned you off to that language) and then, either way, try to start balancing your love languages out. Maybe you'll never get to the point where all of them are equally accepted and given, but we shouldn't be limiting how we feel loved because someone else failed in our lives. It may take practice and reminding yourself at first, but I think once you realize where your aversion came from and have let it go, embracing love in that way will come more easily than you think.
As this is just a theory I came up with a couple days ago, I'd be very interested in hearing feedback, either here or on my facebook page.
As I got involved with her, though, I found that the shift for both of us came easily. It got me wondering whether we're supposed to have primary love languages or those that don't speak to us. It seems that our love languages are set when we're kids by those who know how to express themselves well in one language or who express themselves terribly in another. For example, I heard so many different things about myself growing up that words of affirmation started to be meaningless to me. I'd be complimented to no end at home and then ridiculed by my friends. It seemed over-the-top both ways, but I felt it was more likely that those insulting me were telling it like it is since it's easier to be nice (especially for family who love you) than to say hard things, so I started ignoring the words of affirmation. It's been difficult for me to give a compliment since and they still don't mean much to me when I receive them.
But is this how it's supposed to be?
Somehow, I just don't think so. Consider Jesus. He showed all five love languages almost constantly. He spoke kindly and encouragingly to those who were lost. He served by walking to those who were sick and healing them and then by washing the disciples' feet. He spent three years constantly with the disciples, giving them quality time. When He healed someone, it was almost always through touch. And He gave us Himself, salvation, and then the Holy Spirit, not to mention the two separate occasions he turned a small amount of food into enough for thousands.
He accepted their praise and when they touched Him (I'm sure He was hugged countless times by those He'd healed). He accepted an act of service when the woman washed His feet. He accepted gifts as well (unlikely that He had enough money to support Himself and twelve other men for three years from his earnings as a carpenter), including the expensive ointment the woman used on His feet. And He died so that we could have an eternity up in Heaven with Him.
I think we were meant to show and accept love equally well in all five love languages and that we've been limiting ourselves and allowing ourselves to feel less loved than we are by ignoring some of these based on our past.
Here's what I want you to do: examine your love languages and ask yourself why you do or don't feel loved when someone shows their affection that way. If the answer is something in your past, I want you to forgive the person (if they turned you off to that language) and then, either way, try to start balancing your love languages out. Maybe you'll never get to the point where all of them are equally accepted and given, but we shouldn't be limiting how we feel loved because someone else failed in our lives. It may take practice and reminding yourself at first, but I think once you realize where your aversion came from and have let it go, embracing love in that way will come more easily than you think.
As this is just a theory I came up with a couple days ago, I'd be very interested in hearing feedback, either here or on my facebook page.
Tuesday, July 10, 2012
Justice and Grace
It sounds like they're two opposites, doesn't it? Justice is getting what you deserve and grace is being shown mercy, i.e., not getting what you deserve. As Christians, I think we fall into one of two traps: we either ignore grace and try to earn everything or we ignore justice and forget that our sins, any one of them, are enough to earn us hell for eternity. In other words, we forget either grace or we forget justice because we figure that they both can't apply, being opposites.
I want you to look at this a different way. I want you to consider how meaningless grace is without justice. If you were in a foreign country and broke one of the laws they have there that they don't have here and a cop stopped you, told you what you'd done, and then let you go without a penalty, it wouldn't mean much if your violation was one that didn't have a penalty associated (there actually are such laws, oddly enough). You could do that violation over and over and the worst thing that would happen is an inconvenient conversation with an officer, asking you to stop but powerless to make you do so.
Now imagine the penalty was 20 years in prison. It wouldn't matter whether you thought the penalty was fair. You are in another country and subject to their rules. (Ignore for now things like your country's gov't stepping in to negotiate.) You're quickly found guilty and sentenced. As you're being hauled off to jail, the judge steps in front and says, "Let him/her go. I will serve the sentence in their place." The guards take off your handcuffs and put them on the judge. Then that innocent judge goes willingly to take your place while you are set free. How much does grace mean to you now? That judge took your place so you could be forgiven.
"Why didn't he just acquit me?" you may be asking. Because if he did, he'd be making a mockery of the law that he has sworn to uphold. The law, and by extension, the judge's integrity, demand that someone be punished for the crime. If there was no punishment, it would not truly be grace, but corruption. God did exactly this for you, but on a much grander scale, saving not just you, but all who would call on Him from punishments infinitely worse than 20 years in prison. He created the laws, knowing full well you would break them and be guilty of the punishment necessary. Then, because He cannot be holy or good if He is not just, He knew that someone had to bear the punishment for our sins, so He took it on Himself because He loved us.
"Why not just not make the laws in the first place?"
Because in that case, too, God is neither holy nor good. You are without crime in a state without laws, but you're not law-abiding. You are in an amorphous state where neither good nor bad exist. God cannot be in this state and be holy at the same time. To be holy, by definition, requires the possibility of unholiness.
Perhaps even more importantly, the core of God's laws are choosing Him instead of yourself. The purpose of the Universe, after all, is to glorify its Creator. If there is no law, then there is no difference in which you choose, which would greatly diminish Him, which is something that cannot happen since we will never be even fractionally comparable to God. Conversely, if God compelled obedience, then there would be no possibility of love, since love, like holiness, requires the possibility of its opposite to exist.
Thus, the laws are required for God to be holy and good. His laws require both the possibility of breaking them and, once they are broken, punishment for those infractions, or else they are meaningless. That punishment was taken by Jesus because He wanted to be merciful to us. Without the law, though, that grace and His sacrifice would have been meaningless.
I want you to look at this a different way. I want you to consider how meaningless grace is without justice. If you were in a foreign country and broke one of the laws they have there that they don't have here and a cop stopped you, told you what you'd done, and then let you go without a penalty, it wouldn't mean much if your violation was one that didn't have a penalty associated (there actually are such laws, oddly enough). You could do that violation over and over and the worst thing that would happen is an inconvenient conversation with an officer, asking you to stop but powerless to make you do so.
Now imagine the penalty was 20 years in prison. It wouldn't matter whether you thought the penalty was fair. You are in another country and subject to their rules. (Ignore for now things like your country's gov't stepping in to negotiate.) You're quickly found guilty and sentenced. As you're being hauled off to jail, the judge steps in front and says, "Let him/her go. I will serve the sentence in their place." The guards take off your handcuffs and put them on the judge. Then that innocent judge goes willingly to take your place while you are set free. How much does grace mean to you now? That judge took your place so you could be forgiven.
"Why didn't he just acquit me?" you may be asking. Because if he did, he'd be making a mockery of the law that he has sworn to uphold. The law, and by extension, the judge's integrity, demand that someone be punished for the crime. If there was no punishment, it would not truly be grace, but corruption. God did exactly this for you, but on a much grander scale, saving not just you, but all who would call on Him from punishments infinitely worse than 20 years in prison. He created the laws, knowing full well you would break them and be guilty of the punishment necessary. Then, because He cannot be holy or good if He is not just, He knew that someone had to bear the punishment for our sins, so He took it on Himself because He loved us.
"Why not just not make the laws in the first place?"
Because in that case, too, God is neither holy nor good. You are without crime in a state without laws, but you're not law-abiding. You are in an amorphous state where neither good nor bad exist. God cannot be in this state and be holy at the same time. To be holy, by definition, requires the possibility of unholiness.
Perhaps even more importantly, the core of God's laws are choosing Him instead of yourself. The purpose of the Universe, after all, is to glorify its Creator. If there is no law, then there is no difference in which you choose, which would greatly diminish Him, which is something that cannot happen since we will never be even fractionally comparable to God. Conversely, if God compelled obedience, then there would be no possibility of love, since love, like holiness, requires the possibility of its opposite to exist.
Thus, the laws are required for God to be holy and good. His laws require both the possibility of breaking them and, once they are broken, punishment for those infractions, or else they are meaningless. That punishment was taken by Jesus because He wanted to be merciful to us. Without the law, though, that grace and His sacrifice would have been meaningless.
Friday, July 6, 2012
Render Unto Caesar
I was reading Matthew 22:15-22 this morning. In this passage, the Pharisees tried to trick Jesus into saying something against Caesar or the Roman government, so they asked Him if it was right to pay taxes if He doesn't regard men. Jesus asks for a coin and then asks them whose image and inscription is on it. They answer, "Caesar's." Jesus replies, "Render unto Caesar the things that are Caesar's and unto God the things that are God's."
For years, I thought this just meant that we were supposed to pay our taxes and submit ourselves to the governments where we live, provided they are not commanding us to do something against our beliefs. This morning, it meant something totally different.
Jesus asked whose image and inscription was on the coin and when they said it was Caesar's, Jesus' reply means the coin is Caesar's because it has his image and inscription on it. The coin belonged to him. The Bible says we are created in the image of God. Also, God created us, much like an artist creates a painting. In most paintings, the artist signs his or her name, even though they often leave signature strokes in various places that separate their works from the works of any other. You won't find some small tattoo of God's signature on you, but you can see His signature in the brilliant complexity of everything in your body, from larger organs like the brain to almost infinitely complex human DNA strand that the body replicates perfectly countless times a day.
If you are imprinted with His image and have His signature on you, you are His.
The Bible says we are to give Caesar what is Caesar's and give God what is God's. If we are God's, then we are to give ourselves to Him.
Another aspect of this is Jesus didn't say, "Cut the coin in half, then, and give half to Caesar." The whole coin was given. Likewise, we are to give all of ourselves to God, not just a certain portion.
Here's where the analogy breaks down a little: most people had multiple coins, only some of which were required in taxes, but you have only one you and God wants far more from you than Caesar ever did. Your entire self belongs to Him. The advantage, though, is that He knows what to do with you far better than you know what to do with yourself.
In a movie, one kid picked up a guitar and started playing, but the music was awful. A father figure came in, took the guitar, played a few bars perfectly, and handed the guitar back to the boy, saying, "It sounds fine to me." The guitar was the same, but one player was a novice and the other a master.
In your life, you are that novice. You pick at a few strings and try to find the right chords, but you're slow, clumsy, and sound flat or sour notes more often than pure ones. God is the master. He knows exactly what to do in your life to make the most beautiful song possible come from it. It doesn't mean you'll enjoy every bar as it happens to you, but the end of the song is going to be triumphant on a scale that the Hallelujah Chorus can only dream of...but only if you give your life to the Master. It's His anyway.
Thursday, May 24, 2012
Moving On
My life has been tumultuous over the last two weeks. I was set up with a potential girlfriend, had a great first date, but things fizzled from there and ended last night. My landlords moved back and announced that they're not renewing our lease. Then I found a new place that's even better than this one. A few days after that, I found out I had only been looking at one region for my book sales, so what I thought was 1600 downloads in the last six weeks was really over 1900. I finished a query letter proposal for this book and did one round of editing on the proposal so now all that remains is a second round of editing and then researching agents and publishing companies. Then today, the woman I volunteer for at the church bookstore let slip a secret she had promised to keep, which led to several unpleasant conversations with a couple other parties, one of whom wasn't even involved. Lastly, it came out that I'm going to another church, so the boss of this bookstore manager fired me. That's an awful lot in two weeks.
And now comes the part that I've been most looking forward to and least looking forward to: returning to Virginia, which I still think of as home. I'm looking forward to it because I'll see my friends again, some of whom are like family to me. There will be hugs aplenty, which I get maybe once a week around here if I'm lucky. There will be laughs and deep conversations and lots of catching up.
But then comes the part that makes me not look forward to it: leaving. It's not just that I will have to say goodbye again to these people; it's that when I say goodbye this time, I don't know when I'll see them again. One friend has already moved away and another is moving in a couple of weeks, so it's actually likely I'll never see them again after this weekend.
It's almost like in the winter when you've been out in the cold for a while, knowing that there's a merry fire crackling in the fireplace. You were there once, but had to leave to shovel snow. You're invited back in, but it's almost worse to go in again because you're finally used to the cold, so getting warm and then going back out again makes it that much worse.
Yet I need the warmth. I need the friendship and love that I've been almost entirely without for the last seven months.
I know God is in control. The way He handled my future living accommodations is amazing and how the book has been selling is encouraging as well. For the other situations, I may not understand why they happened, but there's a reason somewhere.
There's not really a Christian point to all of this. If anything, it's that I'm growing in my trust in God. Through everything that's happened this past couple of weeks, I've remained calm and my faith in God hasn't wavered. All I have to do is trust in Him to not let me fall, and then do what He bids me to do. Much easier and more productive than kicking and flailing and fighting Him every step of the way... :)
Monday, May 7, 2012
Scar Tissue
Hundreds of years ago, princes had whipping boys to take their punishment for them. They messed up in school, the whipping boy would get hit. They lashed out at the servants, the whipping boy got the belt. They talked back to their parents, it was the whipping boy who got stripes. No matter what the young prince did, he was pretty much immune to being punished himself, at least as far as corporal punishment.
One result of this was that princes had few scars. Oh, they might get some from sword practice or from any rough-housing they may have started with siblings, and perhaps one from clumsily tripping on the stairs or falling off a horse, but their sins weren't punished. This meant that not only did they not feel the pain of what they did wrong, but they didn't bear the marks of it, either.
We have a volunteer whipping boy, who has already taken the punishment for our sins. His name is Jesus. We may still face correction from God or the results of our actions from the world, but the penalty for our sins has been paid already. The stripes have been taken by someone else.
This means that we shouldn't be bearing the scars of our sins.
So many of us, however, bare our scars to the world, almost proudly. We talk about our past, not just when it will help bring people to God, but anytime a related topic is brought up. We mention them not just with the hurt that our sins caused us and how far they took us from God, but with a certain longing for those good times that we left behind.
Some of us, on the other hand, are so ashamed of our past that we don't bring it up to anyone. We act as though our past can never be erased, like we are tarnished for all time.
If you do either of these, I'm not judging. I have been guilty of both myself, especially the latter. What I'm saying is that God doesn't want you to live this way. He doesn't want you wearing the scars, whether you show them to the world or keep them hidden. He wants you to remember where you came from, but not to live as though the past is your future. You don't have to bear the pain from what you did because He already bore it for you. To continue to claim those scars is to say that His blood isn't good enough, that it can't wash away your past. God the King made you His adopted prince or princess, and then Jesus volunteered to be your whipping boy so you could be presented without scar or blemish before God. To do this, though, you have to let go of your past, forgiving yourself for it, whatever you've done, and walking away from it. No more shame or berating yourself and no more boasting of all that you did and got away with. You have to let it all go, or you take only half the gift that Jesus offers you.
Friday, May 4, 2012
Planting, Watering, and Increase
One of Jesus' parables was about a wealthy man who entrusted three of his servants with some money and then went away on a trip. The first man received five talents, the second three, and the third got one. A talent is about 75lbs and, if it was silver (most translations don't specify that it was and gold, of course, would be over 50x more valuable), each talent comes to about $36,400 by today's valuation. It's a significant sum of money to leave to people.
You probably know the story. The first servant went and bought and sold and doubled his master's money. The second servant bought and sold and doubled the money as well. The third hid the money and returned it to the master, who was very angry with him and gave his talent to the one who now had ten. Much is made of this last servant, but it is the first two I want to focus on.
You see, the point of Jesus' story is that the real sin is not even trying to use what you're given for God's kingdom. Now, if he wanted to really show that this is the worst thing and not failure, you'd think he'd have one of the servants lose the money or try but not turn a profit. No, both of the first two servants double their initial capital. Why is that?
I think it's because the master, an obvious representation of God, is the one they're working for, and He doesn't allow failure.
I don't mean that you won't fail in serving Him. I mean that when you are serving, everything you do will work out in the end because He has willed it to. These first two servants, so long as they did their honest best to serve God, could not fail. Times may have been tough and the Gospel doesn't promise smooth sailing and fat wallets, but it does promise that your efforts for God are not in vain.
In the early church, sects started rising with some people claiming to follow Paul's teaching, while others followed Apollos or another early pillar of the church. When Paul was asked about it, he replied, "What, after all, is Apollos? And what is Paul? Only servants, through whom you came to believe--as the Lord has assigned to each his task. I planted the seed, Apollos watered it, but God made it grow." 1 Corinthians 3:5-6. His point is that both he and Apollos had their missions and were performing them as well as they could, but after they had put forth their effort, it was God who was responsible for what happened, not them.
When I was a co-leader of a young adults group in Virginia, I failed in large part because I was trying to put the pressure of providing an increase on myself and the other leaders. "If only we were trying harder," I reasoned, "if only we were doing something different that drew more people in. Is our teaching too soft? Is it boring? Are we unfriendly? (I know I was at times, but that's another story.) What are we doing wrong?"
It turns out I was doing two things wrong. First, I was measuring success in numbers, rather than letting God define it however He wanted to. Only He knew what was going on in people's hearts. Only He knew the seeds that were being planted and the growth that was taking place. And I am sure that part of His plan was to prepare me for what He had next for me. God's more interested in hearts than in head counts.
Second, I wasn't letting Him do His job because I was too busy trying to do both of our jobs. My place was to do His will, nothing more. Whatever results came of it would be on Him to produce.
Think about that in terms of your life. Are you trying to measure your success based on something that God never intended for you to use? Are you hiding your talents because you are afraid that nothing will ever come of them or that you will fail somehow? Are you trying to both do what God has called you to do and provide whatever increase comes from your actions?
If you're doing any of these things, stop! God has a plan and knows what's really happening, even if you don't. So you don't have to keep score; in fact, you shouldn't.
If you're doing what God wants you to do, then you can't fail Him. Only He could fail because only He is responsible for what comes next. If you stay in His will, everything that comes from it is on Him...and because He can't fail, you can be absolutely certain it will work out to His will in the end.
And if you're trying to do both jobs, relax. You only have one job to do here and it's the easier one. Use the gifts God has given you to serve Him in whatever way you can. You may never see the results you were expecting, but God sees them. One heart touched by a song, one decision made because of a point in a sermon, one relationship saved because of timely and caring advice...these are the things God uses to change a person...and it is these broken people God can use to change the world.
Odds are you are not the next Billy Graham. You don't have to be. The master didn't demand that the servant who had three talents produce five talents like the first guy. He knew he'd given him less to start with and was just as happy with his increase. Besides, God can do whatever He pleases with or without you. He doesn't need you. Your service, therefore, doesn't matter in terms of whether you're benefiting Him; your service matters because it shows your devotion and love to Him. That's what God is really after. As you plant or water, it's not just the kingdom that grows; you grow as well.
Wednesday, April 25, 2012
Letting Go
I was at a camp once where you could do a "trust fall", closing your eyes and falling backwards into the arms of your friends. Most such falls happen with the faller's feet on the ground, but this one...well, for this one, you had to climb a short ladder nailed into a tree, stand on a platform about five or six feet off the ground, and then fall backward.
I didn't do it. I didn't have the faith that my classmates would catch me. (Looking back on it, I was a real pain at the time, and can hardly blame them for not wanting to.) They encouraged me to do it, but I was not about to put my safety in their hands.
Fast forward about 18 or 19 years to last night. I finally forgave myself. I know I've written about it before on here and it's even one of the (biggest and hardest) steps in becoming confident, yet I hadn't finished it for myself. I'd written down pages and pages of what I had done to others and a little of what I had done to myself, but I really hadn't forgiven myself for anything more than not getting perfect scores on everything in school.
I started up Monday on finishing the list of my failings and made up excuse after excuse to distract me from it. Yesterday, I worked on it a little more steadily but still got distracted often. Then last night, I finally buckled down and got to it seriously. I had to stop posting details. It wasn't just that it was too long of a project; it is that it was too painful to deal with. My list of failings could fill several books. Every time I thought of a particular year or a person I had once been close with, another way I had messed up came to mind. I started writing in generalizations...only to find that that, too, was too much.
I forced myself to finish that list, wondering how I could forgive myself of all of it. In Word, it was 20 single-spaced pages, with so many incidents left out or lumped together, and I didn't even go through my time in my last young adults group or last job carefully. I started writing that I forgave myself, but could only forgive myself for not getting 100s all the time.
I took a walk to pray and meditate. On the walk, I realized what I was doing by not forgiving myself: I was putting more faith in myself to ruin my life than I was putting in God to fix it. With all the things I've done, the more common theme is not what a jerk or loser I was, but that by being a jerk and loser, I had wasted so many opportunities, so many years, and I didn't believe opportunities like these will ever come again. I'm 30 now and will be 31 at the end of next month. I've had so many chances over the years and, one way or another, either missed or threw away all of them. Even if I'm given a pass until I turned 18, that's still about 13 years, about 1/6 of my expected life, thrown away, and not just any sixth, but arguably the most important one. It was the lost time, the lost chances, that I could not forgive myself for even more than all the actions or times I didn't act and should have.
But in that unforgiveness was a lack of faith in the Creator of the Universe.
Here in Colorado Springs, the city glow prevents one from seeing as many stars as you might in the country or up in the mountains, but there is one particular star that burns brighter than I've seen any star burn in Illinois, Oklahoma, or Virginia. All of the stars seem brighter, in fact. As I was looking up at this one, though, so many trillions of miles away, I realized that God formed it with a word. Some stars are so large that if they were to replace the sun, they would swallow Earth as well, and God created every last atom in them. That same God created me, took the time to count the hairs on my head, sees each heartbeat, records each thought...and loves me regardless of what I do.
When I got back to my room, I forgave myself, knowing it was the biggest step of faith I had ever taken in my life. All of the things I have done wrong in the past have been forgiven by God for a long time; now I've forgiven myself, too. For all the time I've wasted and opportunities I've missed, for what I've done to others and myself, for everything. I'm believing that the God who created the Universe has the power to change my life. I'm letting go of all the daydreams of how I wanted my life to be, letting go of the past, too. Lord, I believe, help my unbelief.
Sunday, April 22, 2012
The Truth, the Whole Truth, and Nothing but the Truth
Thomas Jefferson cut out sections of the Bible that he didn't agree with. The result is the Jefferson Bible, which omits the resurrection, Jesus' divinity, and other concepts many Christians hold as core beliefs of Christianity. He wanted to boil the Gospel message down to Jesus' teachings but, while a book on the teachings of Jesus would certainly have value, dismissing the rest of the life of Jesus and who He really was corrupts the message.
Yet I believe we often do the same thing in reverse. We accept Jesus' divinity and resurrection, at least on the surface, but not His teachings. In so doing, we indirectly call into question His divinity because if we believed with all our hearts that He was God and truly wanted the best for us, would we not listen? We read Scripture about loving our neighbor as ourselves and agree with it, then we go out and call someone a moron for cutting us off in traffic or judge someone based on their clothes or haircut or job. We listen to the story about the good Samaritan and then choose to sleep in on Saturday rather than distribute food to the poor. We are humbled when we remember how much we've been forgiven of, yet we harbor grudges against those who have abused our trust.
In my book on confidence, I wrote that it was not meant to be taken as a buffet of advice, where you select the two or three morsels that make the most sense to you and disregard the rest, but that it was meant to be taken as a whole. The same holds true of the Gospel message. You cannot take just the parts that you would agree with even if you weren't a Christian and claim the rest are only for that time and culture or that they somehow don't apply to you.
One note needs to be made here: I'm not suggesting we go back to Leviticus and never touch pigs and stone people who wear clothes made of different materials. We are no longer under the old law and the point of the law was never that we had to keep it to be holy; it was that no one could possibly keep it and so we needed a Savior. We are, however, to abide by the teachings of Jesus, not that we may enter into heaven, for that is based on grace and faith, not works, but that we may please Him and that our obedience will help us grow as Christians.
The same messages of loving your enemies, forgiveness, giving freely to those who ask, abstinence until marriage, submission to husbands, putting your wife's needs before your own (the Scripture reads "as Christ gave himself to the church" after all), and always being ready with a reason for your hope all still apply. If you haven't lived up to these, this is not judgment or condemnation. I haven't lived up to them, either. No Christian ever has perfectly. What it is is an exhortation to not dismiss parts of the Bible you find inconvenient or that mess up your fun. It is an encouragement to accept all of the truth of the Gospel because only when all of the truth is accepted is all of God accepted. He is love, but He is also the ultimate truth, and you cannot know Him the way He wishes you to if you reject whichever of His words that get in your way.
Yet I believe we often do the same thing in reverse. We accept Jesus' divinity and resurrection, at least on the surface, but not His teachings. In so doing, we indirectly call into question His divinity because if we believed with all our hearts that He was God and truly wanted the best for us, would we not listen? We read Scripture about loving our neighbor as ourselves and agree with it, then we go out and call someone a moron for cutting us off in traffic or judge someone based on their clothes or haircut or job. We listen to the story about the good Samaritan and then choose to sleep in on Saturday rather than distribute food to the poor. We are humbled when we remember how much we've been forgiven of, yet we harbor grudges against those who have abused our trust.
In my book on confidence, I wrote that it was not meant to be taken as a buffet of advice, where you select the two or three morsels that make the most sense to you and disregard the rest, but that it was meant to be taken as a whole. The same holds true of the Gospel message. You cannot take just the parts that you would agree with even if you weren't a Christian and claim the rest are only for that time and culture or that they somehow don't apply to you.
One note needs to be made here: I'm not suggesting we go back to Leviticus and never touch pigs and stone people who wear clothes made of different materials. We are no longer under the old law and the point of the law was never that we had to keep it to be holy; it was that no one could possibly keep it and so we needed a Savior. We are, however, to abide by the teachings of Jesus, not that we may enter into heaven, for that is based on grace and faith, not works, but that we may please Him and that our obedience will help us grow as Christians.
The same messages of loving your enemies, forgiveness, giving freely to those who ask, abstinence until marriage, submission to husbands, putting your wife's needs before your own (the Scripture reads "as Christ gave himself to the church" after all), and always being ready with a reason for your hope all still apply. If you haven't lived up to these, this is not judgment or condemnation. I haven't lived up to them, either. No Christian ever has perfectly. What it is is an exhortation to not dismiss parts of the Bible you find inconvenient or that mess up your fun. It is an encouragement to accept all of the truth of the Gospel because only when all of the truth is accepted is all of God accepted. He is love, but He is also the ultimate truth, and you cannot know Him the way He wishes you to if you reject whichever of His words that get in your way.
Friday, March 23, 2012
The Time of Your Life
I just got done watching In Time, a new sci-fi action movie where people stop aging at 25, but only have a year to live...unless they get more time, which is the new currency. The heroes, one from the slums and the other the daughter of one of the richest men in the world, set about robbing banks and distributing the time to the poor. Basically, a futuristic Robin Hood story.
One of the lines in it is, "You can do a lot in a day." That got me thinking about how much I do in an average day. In some days, I can move mountains. In others, not so much. What if I only had one day left, though? Would I waste it? Would I have a leisurely breakfast, set about my normal day, and then end it by watching a couple sitcoms? No. I'd spend some of it contacting those I care about one last time, and the rest doing everything I could to make a difference.
I'm pretty sure I have more than just one day left. And maybe that's the problem. Or part of it anyway.
The other part is I don't get the urgency of my calling. I honestly believe that my calling is to help people learn who they are in Christ, yet I don't seem to get how much they need to learn it. The reason I had to edit my confidence book is because someone I used as an example was offended at what I'd written about them. If this person really understood the message, they would not have taken it as an accusation and, more importantly, wouldn't have been bothered by it even if I had meant it as one. (I had meant it only as an example of why I became what I was, not to point fingers. I never even placed blame, but what I had written was seen as such.) I don't mean to sound condescending in any way, but there are Christians who need to find out who they are in Christ. Knowing Christ is only half of it, and so many Christians live only half the life they're supposed to. Every day, they're struggling with their issues and I have help to offer, help that I need to offer as much as they need to get it.
The point of this post isn't that you need help if you're reading this or anything arrogant like that; it's that the world needs you to do your calling. In the movie, those people would have died without getting more time. It made them slaves to whoever had the time to offer, much like people who are unconfident are slaves to those who make them feel better about themselves. The poor needed the system to be changed, and two people set about changing it. What kind of difference would you make in someone's life if you pursued your calling like you only had one day left?
And that is why you need you to do your calling every bit as much as others need it. We aren't here on this earth to live for ourselves, but to find something greater than ourselves. If you're a Christian, you've already found something worth dying for. Now it's up to you to do something worth living for.
One of the lines in it is, "You can do a lot in a day." That got me thinking about how much I do in an average day. In some days, I can move mountains. In others, not so much. What if I only had one day left, though? Would I waste it? Would I have a leisurely breakfast, set about my normal day, and then end it by watching a couple sitcoms? No. I'd spend some of it contacting those I care about one last time, and the rest doing everything I could to make a difference.
I'm pretty sure I have more than just one day left. And maybe that's the problem. Or part of it anyway.
The other part is I don't get the urgency of my calling. I honestly believe that my calling is to help people learn who they are in Christ, yet I don't seem to get how much they need to learn it. The reason I had to edit my confidence book is because someone I used as an example was offended at what I'd written about them. If this person really understood the message, they would not have taken it as an accusation and, more importantly, wouldn't have been bothered by it even if I had meant it as one. (I had meant it only as an example of why I became what I was, not to point fingers. I never even placed blame, but what I had written was seen as such.) I don't mean to sound condescending in any way, but there are Christians who need to find out who they are in Christ. Knowing Christ is only half of it, and so many Christians live only half the life they're supposed to. Every day, they're struggling with their issues and I have help to offer, help that I need to offer as much as they need to get it.
The point of this post isn't that you need help if you're reading this or anything arrogant like that; it's that the world needs you to do your calling. In the movie, those people would have died without getting more time. It made them slaves to whoever had the time to offer, much like people who are unconfident are slaves to those who make them feel better about themselves. The poor needed the system to be changed, and two people set about changing it. What kind of difference would you make in someone's life if you pursued your calling like you only had one day left?
And that is why you need you to do your calling every bit as much as others need it. We aren't here on this earth to live for ourselves, but to find something greater than ourselves. If you're a Christian, you've already found something worth dying for. Now it's up to you to do something worth living for.
Tuesday, March 20, 2012
Learning Curve, Part 2
I figured out why, at least in part, I have such a shallower learning curve for life lessons than I did for math ones. The answer is simply that I don't want to learn them as much. With math, I wanted to learn as much as I could as fast as I could. It wasn't even to show off or to feel smart; it was because I liked the challenge and saw the beauty of math. I wanted to learn almost everything I could.
Also, life lessons are often seen as humbling experiences. We can see sometimes how they make us stronger, but we still see the potential payoff in ignoring the lessons we've been taught. For example, "I know I've spent too freely in the past and it's caused me to barely scrape by, but this concert is for my favorite band. I can't pass up buying a ticket, even at $100."
So with math, I saw no payoff to not learning (since even playing outside paled in comparison to going through math problems to me; I know, I was an odd kid.) and I wanted the lesson because I could see the benefit. With life lessons, the payoff is more readily seen in ignoring them, and then the lesson is humbling once I have ignored the previous lessons.
This leads me to the next question: how do I want the things of God more? How can I want them enough to be willing to learn my lessons through instruction and study rather than experience or, worse, not learning them at all? It may be a little longer before I come up with an answer to this one...
Also, life lessons are often seen as humbling experiences. We can see sometimes how they make us stronger, but we still see the potential payoff in ignoring the lessons we've been taught. For example, "I know I've spent too freely in the past and it's caused me to barely scrape by, but this concert is for my favorite band. I can't pass up buying a ticket, even at $100."
So with math, I saw no payoff to not learning (since even playing outside paled in comparison to going through math problems to me; I know, I was an odd kid.) and I wanted the lesson because I could see the benefit. With life lessons, the payoff is more readily seen in ignoring them, and then the lesson is humbling once I have ignored the previous lessons.
This leads me to the next question: how do I want the things of God more? How can I want them enough to be willing to learn my lessons through instruction and study rather than experience or, worse, not learning them at all? It may be a little longer before I come up with an answer to this one...
Sunday, March 18, 2012
Learning Curve
I enjoy math. The answers are either right or wrong, with no gray area. There can be multiple answers to some problems, but most have only one solution. Yet, there is a beauty in the math that I think a lot of people miss. There are just so many ways there are to come to that solution, as well as all the patterns that develop even in the most mundane things. 11*11=121. 111*111=12,321. And so on.
I remember learning multiplication when I was a little kid. I already knew addition and subtraction, so after my mom taught me multiplication, I asked if division was simply the opposite because it made sense to me for it to have an opposite, since addition did. She said yes, gave me an example, then gave me another one with longer division and that was it. My learning curve was very steep.
Well, in math, anyway. In life, it seems to be a different story. I've learned about God's goodness over the past few years and how futile it is to fight against God. I've learned about how He wants the best for me and how His love for me isn't dependent on what I do. I've learned about His power and faithfulness and how He's better than the other things I'm seeking. And yet...
And yet, I get distracted from His calling on my life. I forget some of the lessons I've learned and have to re-learn them. I forget how seeking my value in what my friends think of me will never make me happy or feel valuable enough. I forget that the money is really His and I'm just a steward.
I'm not beating myself up over this. It's not what God wants me to do. I do, however, have to question why my learning curve for this isn't as high as it is for math or Excel. How is it I can learn those lessons just once, but I have to learn life lessons over and over, despite getting sharper repercussions for failing life's little tests?
I know it's a heart issue. (Always is.) And it's now time for me to get back to school, learning about God, whether for the 1st time or the 100th.
I remember learning multiplication when I was a little kid. I already knew addition and subtraction, so after my mom taught me multiplication, I asked if division was simply the opposite because it made sense to me for it to have an opposite, since addition did. She said yes, gave me an example, then gave me another one with longer division and that was it. My learning curve was very steep.
Well, in math, anyway. In life, it seems to be a different story. I've learned about God's goodness over the past few years and how futile it is to fight against God. I've learned about how He wants the best for me and how His love for me isn't dependent on what I do. I've learned about His power and faithfulness and how He's better than the other things I'm seeking. And yet...
And yet, I get distracted from His calling on my life. I forget some of the lessons I've learned and have to re-learn them. I forget how seeking my value in what my friends think of me will never make me happy or feel valuable enough. I forget that the money is really His and I'm just a steward.
I'm not beating myself up over this. It's not what God wants me to do. I do, however, have to question why my learning curve for this isn't as high as it is for math or Excel. How is it I can learn those lessons just once, but I have to learn life lessons over and over, despite getting sharper repercussions for failing life's little tests?
I know it's a heart issue. (Always is.) And it's now time for me to get back to school, learning about God, whether for the 1st time or the 100th.
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