Questions, Lies, and Pain

I have a friend who has gone through some stuff and struggles with low self-esteem, much like I used to. I can't get into her head, but I get the nagging feeling she's lying to herself about some things. No, better said, she's definitely lying to herself every time she tells herself she's not worthy, that she's not a beautiful, valuable, and talented young woman, but I think that these lies have opened the door to others.

We all want to avoid pain. It's natural. Why would we embrace it if there's a way out, right? But at some point, we have to be willing to endure pain to get to a better end. We have to deal with our pain so it doesn't consume us. We can't always ignore it. We can't put it on the backburner. Most importantly, we can't lie to ourselves and say we have no pain to deal with or tell ourselves we feel differently about something than we do because the way we really feel could open ourselves up to pain. And when a situation comes along that may potentially be painful but also potentially very rewarding, we can't cower in fear and pass up the opportunity because of what could go wrong.

What's more, when we lie to ourselves, we end up lying to others, depending on them too much or shutting them out entirely, and just generally hurting those we care about. I wish I could say I don't know why we do it, but I do, because I've done it, too. In our wish to avoid our own pain, we simply cause more, both for ourselves and others around us.

I have questions about what has happened in my life over the past few months and, in particular, over this past week. I am confused over some things right now and, to be honest, a little hurt by what happened. But I am going to deal with my pain. I'm going to give it to God and ask Him for the strength to get through it and get over it. More than pain I feel for me, though, is pain I feel for my friend.

Life has pain in it. It's an inescapable fact. Life has moments that make each of us feel worthless. But thankfully, life also has God as a loving Father who can take our pain. God values us, more than we could ever imagine. We're never worthless to Him; we're worth His Son's life. He treasures us so highly that we can't even comprehend it.

I don't mean that we should get big heads about our value. In fact, I mean the opposite. Knowing your value to God should be as humbling as it is encouraging. Deep down, we know that, of ourselves, we are hopeless. Realizing God loves us despite our worthlessness can't help but humble us because we see that we're no better than anyone else. We can't become less valuable when compared to God, but He can't value us any more than He does, either. It's infinite love from an infinite God to those who are so infinitely far from deserving it.

And this same God is willing to help you through your pain. Life still has pain, even when one is a strong Christian, but God can be there for you, helping you to bear the burden. With Him, you don't have to lie to yourself because you fear what might happen. You can stand strong, knowing that He will see you through whatever may happen. You can live without all the fears you used to know because God's love overcomes fear.

You can turn to Him, or turn to yourself, but you can't do what He can do for you, and you can't love yourself like He can love you.