Compassion

We all know the story of Jesus feeding the 5,000. Actually, it was likely more than double that number, because the Bible says it was 5,000 men, besides women and children. Taking five loaves and two fish, which must have been small because John 6:9 describes them as the meal of a boy who'd come to hear Jesus, Jesus prayed over them and told the disciples to pass out the food. Not only did everyone there eat their fill, the disciples took up a dozen baskets with the remaining food.

It is indeed a great miracle, and those who read Matthew's account know that Jesus had healed the sick among them before doing this. But let's back up a few verses in Matthew's account and examine the context. Why was Jesus out in the middle of nowhere anyway?

The answer is that John the Baptist, who was related to Jesus and had prepared the way for Him, had just been beheaded. The Bible doesn't explicitly say that Jesus mourned and wept, but I have to imagine the sadness Jesus felt. He wasn't some stoic who was unaffected by people's lives. He wept for Lazarus, even though He knew He'd bring him back to life. How much more would he weep for someone He cared for whom He wouldn't see again until Heaven? And why would He retreat to a deserted spot alone if not to mourn?

Jesus was not in his happiest state when the people came out to Him. It would have been easy for Him to tell the disciples to send the people away, that He'd rather be alone right now, that they should come back in a couple days when He felt like talking to them. But He didn't. He saw the needs of others, even during his own time of loss, and put aside His feelings to help them.

In my own life, I've often done the opposite. I've focused on my own problems when others have tried to get my help. Even in helping them, I've been guilty at times of trying to steer the conversation back toward me. I've done much better at this the last few years, but am by no means perfect. It's just been so much easier to focus on me than on others because, like all of us, I am inherently selfish.

I heard someone say once, "If you want to be happy, make others happy." There have been times when I've been down and actually remembered this quote. I didn't want to put it into practice, but I forced myself to. I always felt at least a little better. More importantly, though, I helped someone who needed it. When we're in pain and hurting, that's the perfect time to help others, rather than wait for them to help us. We can get at least some of our healing by coming to their rescue, rather than both of us staying away from each other and wondering why the other is not coming to our aid.

We were created to be communal creatures. We weren't meant to live alone. And part of life includes pain. So in your pain, remember that others around you are hurting, too, and need you just as you need them. As Luke 6:31 says, "And just as you want men to do to you, you also do to them likewise."

A Wrestling Match

Some of you may remember the story in Genesis 32 of Jacob wrestling with God before he met his brother Esau. It was after this match that God renamed him Israel, which literally means "Prince with God", and blessed him. The match cost Jacob something; God touched his hip and the muscle around it shrank, so that he walked with a limp for the rest of his life. And yet Jacob would not let go. Verse 26 says, "And He said, 'Let Me go, for the day breaks.' But he said, 'I will not let You go unless you bless me!'"

It may sound arrogant at first that Jacob presumes to tell God no when God commands him to do something, but they had been wrestling all night. Jacob wasn't about to give in and have the night wasted. And God didn't want him to. Was the wrestling a real match? Yes and no. From the way his hip was put out of joint, we know Jacob could have been destroyed easily at any time - he was fighting God after all - but he knew whom he was wrestling with and didn't give in. Why?

Because he was desperate to get what only God could give him. In my last post, I talked about the effects of becoming more and more desperate for something. Jacob was a truly desperate man. He was desperate, not because he had nothing, but because what he knew he needed could only come from one source, and that source was God. So when he got a hold of God, he wasn't going to let go until God gave him what he wanted. His wrestling with God proved that he knew God was the only one who could truly fulfill him, his one true source of all good. If Jacob believed otherwise, he would have let God go and pursued his happiness another way.

I'm not saying that we can do the same thing and ask for things that are against God's will and get them. God won't give us anything against His will for us to have, even though we can get these things if we seek after them instead of seeking after God. I mean that when we want something from God that is His will for us to have, there are times He tests us. He needs to be...no, better said...We need Him to be the primary source for all good in our lives.

Abraham had a similar test happen to him. He was told to sacrifice Isaac, after God had told him that Abraham would be the father of many nations. I can only imagine what was going on in Abraham's mind. "Lord, how can I be the father of many nations if my son is dead and my other son cast out of my house? Is there a miracle coming? Will I have another son? Did God lie to me?" And yet he overcame his doubts and fears and was willing to offer his son to God. Why? Because he trusted God and depended on Him to be his source.

In what areas do you feel like you're wrestling with God? If these are things that you are certain are God's will for you, don't give up. If you are not absolutely positive that they are God's will, ask Him for wisdom and discernment, and then cling to Him to bless you.

And that brings up one final point. Jacob demanded a blessing from God, but he never told God what the blessing should be. Too often, we tell God that we want something, say a good career, for example, and then we find one that looks good and demand God to give it to us. We can do the same thing with almost anything: we know what we want and, since there's nothing in the Bible against having a good career or a loving spouse or lots of money, we assume those things are God's will for us and that we know best how He should deliver them.

God's will for you may not be something that brings you financial riches or that dream marriage or lots of fame and an easy life. Look at Paul. He was poor, beaten, whipped, imprisoned, and later killed. Not exactly what we would deem a happy, successful life. But he was living according to God's will for him and, in a way, he was more blessed than perhaps any other man (Jesus aside) in the Bible, for he was so close to God that he had peace throughout all his sufferings. Will God's will for you lead you into such extreme conditions? Probably not, but I can bet Paul would not trade his life for millions of dollars, a gorgeous mansion, and a beautiful, loving wife without God's presence and peace. There's nothing wrong with wishing for good things in your life or asking God for them, but be open to what His will is for you. Let Him choose your blessing, and you will then be truly blessed.

The Other Golden Rule

A few years ago, I had no car. It would have made my social life difficult, had I much of a social life to begin with. I was fortunate to live within a mile of where I worked, so I just walked every day. One night, however, I experienced in aberration in my social life, which led me to a coworker's house for pizza and games. This coworker had to drive me back to my place afterward. Her 12-year-old (I think) son accompanied us on the way back.

He began complaining that she hadn't given him his allowance yet. Her response was that she would in a few days when she went to the bank again. He whined that then it would be too late and that it had already been too long. She told him that if he didn't stop whining, she'd give him nothing. Immediately, he quieted down. I said, mostly as an off the cuff remark, "Let that be a lesson to you: he who has the gold makes the rules."

It wasn't until later that I thought about what that statement really meant. It's more than money equating to power as it so often does in our culture. It's really about slavery. When you have something I want but can do without, and I have something you want but can do without, we might negotiate and come to an agreement, or we might part with what we originally had. Either way, we won't be terribly disappointed or absolutely thrilled.

But if you have something I crave, and I have nothing you need too badly, then there's a power shift. I've given you the power in the relationship to determine whether I'm satisfied or not. The bigger the difference between our level of desire, the more power I'm willing to sacrifice and the more I'm willing to overpay for what I feel I need. I open myself up to being taken advantage of, cheated, and abused. And if I still see you as the best way of getting what I yearn for, I'll take it and come back to try to get it again.

What's worse is that the more I have to give, the less I value myself, meaning that I feel it takes more of me than other people have to give to get the same amount from others. My self currency, if you will, is devalued, and so I become more and more desperate the further my self-esteem falls.

Lastly, unless I have a never-ending supply of me to give, I will run out and be empty...and it will probably be long before I've gotten from you what I wanted so badly.

It's the problem with so many relationships. One party puts an inordinately large portion of their hope for happiness in the other person and subverts all their desires and self-respect to get that love from their partner. When men do it, it often leads to them being hen-pecked by spoiled wives who sometimes cuckold them. Other men and women see it, too, and lose respect for the man, just as his wife has already done. When women do it, they open themselves up to being abused - be it physically, sexually, or verbally - and taken advantage of with their time, money, and other relationships.

Here's another way to look at it. Say you're in a market in a foreign country and you stop to look at a booth filled with paintings. The trader notices you looking and says, "Oh, interested in those, eh? I'm a bit surprised. They're not very good. Look how much better this sea could be and how unrealistic her smile looks on this other one. Tell you what: if you take one at half price, I'll give you both of them. Please..." You might take them and think you got a good deal, but how much would you really value them?

If the trader had talked up the paintings instead, feeding you lines about how the artist had had some of his more famous works put in a local museum and complimenting the style and technique of the paintings, he might have been able to get you to pay full price for both of them. The paintings are the same. The difference in how you value them comes from your perception of their value, which comes from the seller's perception of their value.

There are two points to this particular posting: the first, as you may have already guessed, is that when you don't value yourself or when you want something too badly, you get taken advantage of. The second, though, is more subtle. It's that you don't have to want anything this badly from anyone else. God wants you to only crave what He has to offer, to be willing to sacrifice yourself only for Him. He will also give you an endless supply of His love, not so that you can give it away to others from whom you crave their love, but so you can fill their needs for love and point the way to God.

God values you and wants to give you more than you think you want. He knows what's best for you and what you would really enjoy most, and wants to give that to you. You only have to pursue Him, which becomes a joy once you are closer to Him. You offer yourself, and He offers Himself (not exactly a fair trade, is it?).

Perhaps this is what the Bible is talking about when it says, "Owe no man anything but to love him." When you owe someone, or are desperately seeking something from them, you enslave yourself to them. We should only do that with God, for only God can truly provide all our needs and desires. With Him, we get so much more than we could ever have hoped for, and can love so much more powerfully and purely than we could on our own. Isn't it time you emancipated yourself from others?

Filling the Tank

We all have our love languages. The five possible ones are touch, quality time, acts of service, words of affirmation, and gifts. I listed them in my own personal order, from greatest to least. The love languages are the way we usually show love to each other because it's how we want love shown to us.

The problem is that, unless we know the primary love languages (usually top two, but can be top three) of the person we're dealing with, our signs of love may be completely disregarded. For example, if someone gives me a gift, sure, I appreciate it and say thank you, but I don't get all warm and fuzzy inside. It's the same when someone gives me a compliment. It makes me feel a little better, but not all that much. In turn, it means I'm less likely to care about giving others gifts unless I have to think hard about them or put time into them (which makes them partially quality time gifts) and not as likely to give compliments.

But that's not the point of this posting. We all need our love tanks filled, and very regularly, too. We need them filled because, like the gas tank in your car, they run empty. Much as we want to, we can't love others endlessly without getting some love back. Let's face it: loving each other is draining, especially when that love is unrequited, sometimes without so much as a thank you or smile.

And my question is why we seek our love mostly from each other. For those whose top love language is touch, I can understand it a little because God is not a physical Being, but if you want words of affirmation, look at Philippians 1:6 & 4:13, II Timothy 1:7, Jeremiah 1:5, and Luke 12:6-7, for starters.

If gifts get you excited, how about John 3:16? Gifts don't GET any bigger than that! Then there's God giving us eternal life, all the blessings that He continues to rain down on us (that we all too often take for granted), and the opportunity to know Him personally. "Ask and you shall receive, that your joy may be full."

If quality time is your top love language, how can Heaven not excite you? It's an eternity to get to be with God! The streets may be of gold, but that's not the treasure of Heaven. The treasure of Heaven is His presence. And before Heaven, we can go to Him at any time with our needs and cares and He'll always listen patiently to us, anytime, day or night, even after we've just walked away from Him.

Lastly, if your love language is service, think of the service Jesus did for you on the cross. Consider Matthew 11:30 and Hebrews 13:5. Consider all the miracles Jesus did for people and that he is the same yesterday, today, and forever. He wants to do the same for you, according to your faith and His perfect will.

The Bible tells us to forsake not the gathering of ourselves together, and I believe that's as much so we can fill each other's love tanks as it is to sharpen each other. I think it's not good for us to be single for the rest of our lives unless specifically called to be, not just so we can have kids and raise them up to follow God and help each other draw closer to God, but also to show each other love and fill each other's tanks. God knows that we'll never be so close to Him on this world that we don't need each other, too. But try to think about how you can lean more on God and get Him to fill your love tank. Four of the five are covered exceptionally well by the Bible, so your primary or secondary language (and likely, both) are amply provided for. Lean more on Him and you'll find you need to lean on others less. You'll be the one pouring out the love because your love tank will be spilling over.

Chasing Figments

One of my friends is moving to Texas with her husband at the end of this month. She told me she is nervous about it as well as excited, that there are bad things about leaving as well as good. I told her that our focus should not be on either the good or the bad, but on God, and then we lean on Him for the strength to make it through the bad and thank Him for what good He sends us.

Our lives here are not to be for our own enrichment or even our own happiness. I believe God wants us to be happy here and sends blessings our way to show us He cares, but our lives are to be about Him. It's not just that He deserves all of our focus; it's more than that. Our focus on Him doesn't add to Him just like our choosing things other than Him doesn't detract from Him. He's complete without us. It's that we can't find true happiness or peace when we look to something else to fulfill us.

It is a lesson that is very hard to learn. I've thought I've learned it many times, only to resort to something else when I'm disappointed in my quest for happiness elsewhere. I don't run to God first. Often, I run away from Him. This time has been better, at least. I ran a few steps away, but stopped in my tracks and realized what I was doing. I'm now trying to cling to Him, but it is hard to keep believing in His goodness sometimes when things around you seem to be crumbling. I have to keep in mind that He has brought me this far, through far worse than what I'm facing now, and that He will never leave me. Jeremiah 29:11 says it so well, but I think this time, I'll let you look it up for yourselves.

How Big is YOUR God?

Gandhi once said, “There is nothing that wastes the body like worry, and one who has any faith in God should be ashamed to worry about anything whatsoever." How big is the God you serve? Is He only big enough to take care of your afterlife? Is He only big enough to find you good parking spots when you go shopping? Is He only big enough when you need healing from some medical thing the doctors can't diagnose? How big is your God?

I catch myself still worrying about a couple situations in my life and thinking about what I can do to fix them. I can do nothing by myself. I have to let God guide me and work things out to His will. I can't change the hearts of those around me; I can't heal their pain, much as I would love to; I can't make them stop living in the past; I can't make them stop fearing the future. I cannot make them trust God and turn to Him. All I can do is trust God and ask Him to guide my words in actions if He wishes to work through me to help them. Healing will come in time, if these people let God work in their lives. It will probably come through other people because God uses others more often than not, but it will be God's work, not theirs.

God created the universe. Think about that for a second. Think about how far just the moon is from us. God created a big white rock and put it in orbit around our planet so we'd have a little light on most nights. All of the countless atoms that make up the moon, He created. The incalculably high number of atoms in the rest of the galaxy is beyond our comprehension. Yet He knows where every last one of them is at all times.

He is the God Who created life. Scientists have not been able to duplicate that in labs, no matter how favorable they make the conditions. They can recreate parts of DNA, but making it come to life is beyond their abilities. The same God made our brains the most complex computers ever invented by far and made our everlasting souls. How big is your God?

At my last job, I made spreadsheets, probably over a hundred of them. Most of the time, they worked pretty well and people were happy with them. When they broke, though, either through my error or theirs, who did they want to fix it? Me, naturally. Why? Because I knew the most about the spreadsheet. Why, then, do we turn first to our friends, family, work, alcohol, drugs, or sex - almost anything but God - when our bodies, minds, or souls are broken? Do we not think Him able? Do we not think Him willing to help? Do we resist Him because we fear we'll have to give up control of our lives, control we really don't have anyway?

Look at the situations in your life right now. Look at your pain, your struggles, your trials. It doesn't matter whether they're your fault or not. What matters is whether you believe your God is big enough to get you through them.

Faith and Confidence

We're all blessed with certain talents and abilities, things that we're naturally good at. For some of us, it may be singing; for others, math; for others, writing; for still others, being a homemaker; or perhaps business or something else is your natural forte. I know a lot of Christians believe that God has equipped them with the natural abilities to do what He has called them to do and, to a certain extent, I believe this is true for a number of people. It should still be God getting the glory because it is God Who gave the talent.

But then there are those like Moses. Moses was called to lead the people out of Egypt. Moses was good at hearing God and turning to Him first, but these attributes seemed to develop later, once he had confronted Pharaoh. Moses was scared when God first approached him. He objected that he was a nobody, that they wouldn't believe God had sent him, that he had only words and not signs to show them, and that he was not eloquent. God responded to each of these (respectively) that He would be with Moses, with a name they would respect, with two signs to show them, and by promising He would direct his speech. Moses, who was looking at a burning bush that was not consumed at the time (proving that it was from God), still asked for God to send him a helper.

Moses has so little confidence in himself at this point. When you think about his situation, it makes sense. He was a shepherd and, though he had been in the Pharaoh's house, he was an outlaw in Egypt who would be killed if caught. He may well have been a clumsy speaker and, should he have tried to free Israel on his own, he would have failed quickly and been killed.

The point, though, is that God told Moses to do this. God said He would be with Moses. God gave him the name and signs Moses asked for. Had Moses had more faith in God than in his own worthlessness, he wouldn't have needed to ask for anything. Our fears paralyze us. We tell ourselves we can't do it and, even when someone else says, "With God, all things are possible," or "Greater is He Who is in you than he who is in the world," we dismiss it. Effectively, we're saying we're so bad that even the Creator of the universe isn't powerful enough to help us. Where is our faith? What God has called us to do, He will give us the strength to do or, as St. Augustine once said, "Command as you will, and give as you command." God always gives us enough to do what He wants us to do.

I struggled for years with a lack of self-confidence. It is a crippling disease of the mind. Not only does it make you not believe you can win, it makes you not even want to fight just because you're so certain you'll lose. When you have no confidence in yourself, though, you're also saying you have no faith in God. God is more powerful than you, your enemy, or the entire world can ever be. If He calls you to sing, sing with the faith that His will will be done through it. If He calls you to write, write with the faith that the words He gives you will touch someone. If He calls you to simply be a parent, then raise your kids up to know Him.

Everyone knows who Billy Graham was. Christian or not, most people respected him for his strong faith. He touched so many people's lives. Yet the name of the man who led him to Christ is not nearly so well known. And that may be your role: to touch the life of the next Billy Graham, or the life of the person that touches him. There is no small calling with God. Every calling will serve to bring others into the Kingdom and give God glory. There is no such thing as a worthless person with God. Every one of you was worth His Son's life to save. If God has called you to do something, you will accomplish it, even if you have absolutely no abilities on your own. And if you do have abilities, you can watch as God magnifies them and blesses people through you.

Have faith in God, and lose your fears.

As Iron Sharpens Iron

In the group I'm a part of, I often seem to be the one taking others aside and telling them things they don't want to hear. I used to let everyone else do that, afraid I'd lose the few friendships I had.

And that is the point of this post. Do we love others enough to tell them what they need to hear? The group I was a part of and am slowly getting back into is generally not good at taking people aside and correcting them. We wait and hope someone else will do it. We don't just say what needs to be said. Maybe it's fear of rocking the boat. Maybe it's fear of that person getting angry and creating a rift. Maybe it's fear of coming across as judgmental and demanding.

So most people have relaxed and let everyone else correct others, not really realizing that this means almost no correction is done. I have so many faults, but it wasn't until I left the group and had been gone for a couple months (and changed significantly) that people started telling me what issues they had with me. I can work on them if I know what they are. It's so much crueler to just let me stumble along, harming others and myself, than to take me aside and tell me what I'm doing wrong.

I know, I know...we can't go around correcting everyone because: A. it's judgmental, B. it's not our problem, and C. we can't be so antagonistic, right? Let me deal with the middle one first: It IS your problem if you care about that person. If all you care about is your own comfort and convenience, then no, don't worry about them, worry about yourself and why you feel that way first. God loves us all. There was nothing convenient about sending Jesus to die for us, nor anything comfortable about being on that cross. He did it anyway.

Reaching out to others can be painful, for both you and them. In some ways, it's like trying to operate on a wounded animal without anesthetic. The animal, not knowing you're trying to help, lashes out and may bite or scratch you. You have to hurt it to heal it. It's not fun. Sometimes, it's downright awful. But if you care, you do it. You take the pain they send your way because you know they're hurting more. If they weren't, they wouldn't be treating you like this.

For the first and third objections, they're nearly the same. People don't like to be told they're wrong. We have our pride, for one thing, and we like our security, too. When we're made to face the fact that what we believe is wrong, we don't respond well to it. Not only do we often feel foolish for having believed it, but we feel insecure because now we don't know what to believe.

There are, of course, right and wrong ways to correct someone. Doing it out of your own pride and in a condemning spirit is wrong. Judging their character or heart is wrong. Sometimes, being direct to the point of being harsh is necessary, though. The key is your heart when you do it. It always needs to be out of love and a spirit that wants to serve the other person, even if it costs you. It seems like it may have cost me one of my most treasured friendships, but I have to trust that God will use what happened to help her and bring Himself glory in the end. If that happens, it will be worth it, because I care enough about her to lose her for her own good.

Questions, Lies, and Pain

I have a friend who has gone through some stuff and struggles with low self-esteem, much like I used to. I can't get into her head, but I get the nagging feeling she's lying to herself about some things. No, better said, she's definitely lying to herself every time she tells herself she's not worthy, that she's not a beautiful, valuable, and talented young woman, but I think that these lies have opened the door to others.

We all want to avoid pain. It's natural. Why would we embrace it if there's a way out, right? But at some point, we have to be willing to endure pain to get to a better end. We have to deal with our pain so it doesn't consume us. We can't always ignore it. We can't put it on the backburner. Most importantly, we can't lie to ourselves and say we have no pain to deal with or tell ourselves we feel differently about something than we do because the way we really feel could open ourselves up to pain. And when a situation comes along that may potentially be painful but also potentially very rewarding, we can't cower in fear and pass up the opportunity because of what could go wrong.

What's more, when we lie to ourselves, we end up lying to others, depending on them too much or shutting them out entirely, and just generally hurting those we care about. I wish I could say I don't know why we do it, but I do, because I've done it, too. In our wish to avoid our own pain, we simply cause more, both for ourselves and others around us.

I have questions about what has happened in my life over the past few months and, in particular, over this past week. I am confused over some things right now and, to be honest, a little hurt by what happened. But I am going to deal with my pain. I'm going to give it to God and ask Him for the strength to get through it and get over it. More than pain I feel for me, though, is pain I feel for my friend.

Life has pain in it. It's an inescapable fact. Life has moments that make each of us feel worthless. But thankfully, life also has God as a loving Father who can take our pain. God values us, more than we could ever imagine. We're never worthless to Him; we're worth His Son's life. He treasures us so highly that we can't even comprehend it.

I don't mean that we should get big heads about our value. In fact, I mean the opposite. Knowing your value to God should be as humbling as it is encouraging. Deep down, we know that, of ourselves, we are hopeless. Realizing God loves us despite our worthlessness can't help but humble us because we see that we're no better than anyone else. We can't become less valuable when compared to God, but He can't value us any more than He does, either. It's infinite love from an infinite God to those who are so infinitely far from deserving it.

And this same God is willing to help you through your pain. Life still has pain, even when one is a strong Christian, but God can be there for you, helping you to bear the burden. With Him, you don't have to lie to yourself because you fear what might happen. You can stand strong, knowing that He will see you through whatever may happen. You can live without all the fears you used to know because God's love overcomes fear.

You can turn to Him, or turn to yourself, but you can't do what He can do for you, and you can't love yourself like He can love you.

Fellowship

I live in northern Virginia, affectionately shortened to NoVa. We just got about 30" of snow and another 10-20" is coming this afternoon. I think it's already the snowiest winter I can remember, certainly the snowiest since I left Illinois at 18. I had gotten snowed in (on purpose) at a friend's house, along with a married couple. The four of us were there from Friday afternoon through Monday afternoon.

Our agendas were loose for most of the time, save that we had to shovel ourselves out Sunday morning and walk to the grocery store so we could have food for the Super Bowl and the next morning. We went sledding at a nearby middle school, attempted to build snowmen (bad packing snow), had a snowball fight, watched movies, played a bunch of games, and just generally enjoyed being with each other.

It was so refreshing for me to just be with people and have no schedule or real plans in mind. By nature, I'm a bit introverted. I get a lot of energy being in a small group of people I like, though, and I really like being surrounded by close friends.

I had left the group a few months ago and gotten warned by several friends about the problems of forsaking the "gathering of [our]selves together." I think that this weekend showed me that there is more than one side to that verse. How they meant it is that we are supposed to sharpen each other and hold each other accountable, which is certainly true. I think there is an additional meaning, though, even if it's not as important, and that's that being around people is meant to energize us and give us happiness. It draws us closer together and makes us feel good.

In one way or another, we're supposed to make each other feel loved, we're supposed to make Christ come alive to each other. A lot of people seem to have this view of Jesus like he was either a hippie who said he loved everyone and flashed the peace symbol often but wasn't altogether there or that he was some stoic sage who was serious about his work and completely focused on that alone. I, of course, wasn't there, but I like to envision Jesus as having real charisma, not just in public speaking, but in small groups, too. I bet he told some hilarious jokes, laughed easily and often, smiled a lot, hugged people or clapped them on the shoulder, did little things for them from time to time, encouraged them, and just was there for them.

I don't believe we're supposed to be around others simply to correct them, teach them, and challenge them to be more like God. I believe we're supposed to be around them to show them God's love and to accept the love they have to offer us and get our own love tanks refilled. And with that, I'm off to get ready for tonight, when our same group will likely be snowed in again. :D

Sufficient Unto the Day...

...is the God thereof. It's a hard thing to remember, an even harder one to live.

My mother is writing a book and it was due last week. She got a two week extension and wanted me to review it within a week and give it to her so she could have someone else review it in under a week, but then made changes to it for five days before she gave it to me. Instead of relying on God for the strength to get it done on time and trusting that His will would be done, I got frustrated with her.

When I saw the woman on Sunday who had deeply hurt me, I avoided her instead of swallowing my pride and turning the other cheek. I was at a friend's house last night watching a movie and this woman came in (they are roommates) and, while I wasn't intentionally cold to her, I didn't go out of my way to be warm, either.

My friend had told me earlier in the evening the financial struggles she was going through. Another friend is dealing with a very rare and often lethal medical condition. My mother has more illnesses and conditions than I can usually remember.

All of us are worried about something or letting something get to us. We should let God be taking care of it all. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying we should do nothing and assume God will rain manna from heaven or that if our faith was strong enough, we wouldn't need to eat, drink, and breathe. God created our bodies to need certain things and our hearts, too, need certain things. Even when Adam had no sin separating him from God, God decreed that it was not good for him to be alone and made Eve.

The point is not that we need nothing when we trust in God to be sufficient, but that we let Him provide what we need. We do as He guides us and let the results be as He wills them, even if it's not what we want for ourselves.

I'll be honest: I hate being single, especially when I watch seemingly all my friends dating, getting married, and having kids. And it's not just being single, it's having always been single. My heart is crying out for a woman to love and respect me. Instead of having faith, though, that my God will supply all my needs according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus, I have become fixated on one woman or another as perhaps the answer to my prayers. I have decided what is best for me instead of letting God decide.

God recently shut a door in my life regarding someone I thought could be what I was looking for. It hurt, but God doesn't shut doors without opening doors that are better for us to walk through. If she's not the one for me, I should be thankful He shut the door and saved me from myself. I just have to trust in Him and let Him guide me through the right doors.

I believe it can be God's will for some of us to be single forever. I believe that we can serve Him better in that state. But I also believe that for the vast majority of us, God wants us to get married and He has someone for each of us who is perfect for us. They won't be perfect and they'll still disappoint us like we'll disappoint them, but they will be even more than we could have asked for. We just have to trust in God and count on Him to be the source of all our provision. For He is sufficient for us, in all things.

Amazing Grace, How Sweet the Sound

Every time I read through the Gospels, I'm amazed that there are judgmental Christians out there. I'm disappointed in myself that I am still one when people hurt or offend me. Yes, I know: it's human nature to take offense when people hurt us, either through malicious intent or gross negligence when there is no excuse for them not knowing better. It is human nature for us to hold grudges against those people, to wish harm on them and call it "justice", and to esteem ourselves above them because we did not sin so against them.

But the message of the Bible is summed up in John 3:16-17, "For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son,that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life. For God sent not his Son into the world to condemn the world; but that the world through him might be saved."

I heard a sermon yesterday that had one line that particularly stuck with me. The pastor was talking about Jesus and the woman at the well, the one who had had the five husbands and was living with a different man at the time. She went and told the villagers to come see the man who had told her all her sins, not the man who had great theological wisdom or the Jew who spoke to Gentiles. The important thing was that he was there to save her. He never told her that having five husbands was wrong, never judged her for living with a man who wasn't her husband, and didn't criticize her for her theological ignorance. He was there to lift her up, not cast her down.

Being a Christian doesn't mean simply believing that Jesus existed. There's enough historical evidence, in both religious and secular records, that a person would be foolish to do any sort of research on it and still not believe he really did live about 2000 years ago. His trial and crucifixion are also documented. Being a Christian also means more than raising your hand once in church when the pastor asks who wants to be saved when everyone else's heads are bowed and eyes closed. It is more than living withing some set of rules that won't get us to Heaven or make us holy anyway.

Being a Christian is about living like Christ. It's living a life of compassion, mercy, ready forgiveness, wisdom, drawing our strength from God, pure and childlike faith, giving to those who ask without hope of anything in return, getting our sense of self-worth from God and not from others or even ourselves, and, most importantly, loving others as God has loved us.

Read that last paragraph again. See if you can spot any of the following words: judgment, Biblical knowledge, Ten Commandments, law, sin, holy, condemnation, or punishment. Can't find them, can you? That's because the message of the Gospel is not in these. Yes, we have broken the Ten Commandments and sinned, so God's judgment should have lead to our condemnation and yes, sometimes, God punishes us for our sin to bring us back in line like a father punishes his children when they misbehave, but the story goes so much farther than that. It goes to where God purchases us back at the cost of His own son's life. While we were busy rejecting Him, He sends Jesus, who goes through unspeakable pain to save us all. Even after that, we still reject Him more often than we'd ever like to admit, and His love is still as constant and His judgment still satisfied by Jesus' sacrifice.

Father, make me more like Your son. Help me to live in Your love and give me a stronger revelation of how beautiful, powerful, holy, wonderful, and loving You are.