Christianity is the easiest religion in the world. To join, all you have to do is believe that Jesus died to pay the penalty for your sins and rose again. That's all the thief on the cross did and Jesus said that man would be in heaven with Him before the day was out. There is no need to make a pilgrimage to a certain city, keep from working on certain days, not eat certain things, fast during specified times, or any other religious rites found in other religions.
It is also the hardest religion in the world, for much the same reason. We're used to having to earn everything, especially love and acceptance. We choose our clothes carefully, try very hard to perform well at work, over-analyze our relationships, workout incessantly, and do other things to be seen as acceptable and likable. When we have earned someone else's love, it is an accomplishment.
Unfortunately, if it is an accomplishment, it is not love. Love, by definition, is given rather than earned because it doesn't depend on what it gets in return. It is self-sacrificial, patient, merciful, giving, forgiving, and ever-faithful.
Christianity requires only the belief I mentioned above, and yet that belief requires a change of heart, for to espouse Christianity is to deny yourself at your very core.
Here's what I mean: the root sin of the Bible wasn't really Eve eating the apple. It was Eve disobeying God, choosing herself instead of Him. At the root of all of our sins is a choice of ourselves instead of God. It is that which hinders our relationship with Him. Becoming a Christian is recognizing that you have been doing this and it is, at a much deeper level than you had ever realized (and maybe deeper still than you ever could), fundamentally wrong.
It is here where Christianity is different from all other religions. While all of them promise some form of after-life or next life, all such promises are both: A. Solely for your benefit and B. Based on your conduct. In other words, there is no grand plan for humanity since the beginning of time. There may be mercy, but it is either earned or (rarely) given arbitrarily. There are actions and rewards. That is all. The gods of other religions become little more than cosmic vending machines, doling out to each what they deserve for the deeds they've put in.
While Christianity does still have the law of sowing and reaping, the core of it is based in reaping what you could never sow. You reap an eternity with God, something that only a perfect life could earn, and you could never be perfect on your own. It is based on a gift, not a reward. It is because of this that it requires a change of heart.
If you seek God for only what God can give you, then you make God like the god of any other religion. You will try to earn things from Him, try to be good and help others out so that He'll owe you one, and do your best to not tick Him off. This bastardizes Christianity, because it takes it from the separate belief that it should be and puts it with all the other earned blessing beliefs out there.
As importantly, it bastardizes us as Christians because we are no longer children of God, but supplicant servants who too often pretend to be the masters. We take ourselves from our true place and put our selves in a lower one because we don't really believe the Gospel message. We go from begging God as slaves to demanding reasons for His inaction as though we control Him or have some sort of paycheck coming. In this regard, how can we honestly call ourselves Christians, if we pretend to worship God and yet do so in the same self-serving way every other religion does?
Sunday, October 16, 2011
Friday, October 7, 2011
Deal of a Lifetime
I've been thinking a lot lately about self image. I've had a self image problem really as long as I can remember. Even when I was four, I thought I'd somehow failed because I wasn't as tall as other people. I wasn't nearly as hard on myself as I grew to be, but I've always been a people pleaser and perfectionist. For those who know the four personality types of sanguine, choleric, melancholy, and phlegmatic, I'm the strongest melancholy you're likely to ever meet, but I'm growing more choleric as time passes, which is a hard mix for both me and those around me.
Because of my personality, I place a ton of value on being the best at everything I care about doing: being the smartest person in the room, having the funniest shirts, always being on time, being at least fairly up-to-date on nerd culture (which is big where I live), being a good cook and photographer, always having what others might need in my car, etc. If I fail at any of these, I often feel like a failure overall. It's way too harsh and undeserved, but it is how I have been since I was about eight.
I went to Connect, our young adults group, for the last time this past Tuesday. The message was about the parable of the man who found a treasure in a field, hid it, sold everything he had, and bought the field. Jesus was using that treasure to represent the kingdom of God. The obvious moral is that it's so much more valuable than anything else we have in life, we'd be foolish to cling to our possessions when we can have this instead.
I think there is another layer of meaning to it, however. I don't believe Jesus literally wanted everyone to sell everything they had just so they could have a relationship with Him. I mean, Abraham, Job, and Solomon were very wealthy men. Even Jesus had a robe so nice that the soldiers, instead of dividing it as appeared the custom, cast lots for who would get it. There's nothing wrong with Christians having money or enjoying nice things, just something wrong with letting money get in the way of our relationship with God.
More importantly, if you sell something, you don't have it anymore. This may sound too obvious to be worth mentioning, but when we try to attain the kingdom of Heaven, do we really sell all we have or do we claim to give our stuff up and then take it back? You can't do that and keep what you buy in any earthly transaction. You have to give it in exchange and leave it.
This means more, I think, than simply being willing to walk away from your money or your job or even moving to a nation hostile to Christians and risking your life preaching the Gospel. I think it means that you have to give up even your old way of thinking about yourself.
We do this with other things in life. When you become an employee of a company, you think of yourself as an employee, which means (or should at least) that you are willing to submit yourself to the managers of that company and do whatever they hired you to do. When you get married, you can no longer go dating other men or women like you could when you were single. You think of yourself differently because your situation is different.
When we become Christians, our situation changes more than we can really fathom. Yet most of us don't seem to see the fullness of that difference. We see that we have been saved, but don't understand what that should mean as far as how we see ourselves. We're no longer a collection of cells here by chance, trying to get as much stuff as we can before we die and cease to exist. Now we're bought with the death of the Son of God, redeemed from a horrible fate, and made children and heirs of the Creator of the universe.
What is it we hope to gain by continually seeking our value in how others view us, or in whether someone we like likes us as well, or in how much money or power or fame we have? We can't add to our value, nor can we decrease it (and how much time, emotions, and energy do we waste worrying about or trying to prevent others rejecting us?), so we are hunting all our lives for copper when there is gold at our feet.
I don't think Jesus wanted us to sell all we have to get the kingdom of God; He wanted something much more valuable: our hearts, including the way we see ourselves. If we cannot give that up to Him, we are missing one of the greatest blessings of being Christians.
Because of my personality, I place a ton of value on being the best at everything I care about doing: being the smartest person in the room, having the funniest shirts, always being on time, being at least fairly up-to-date on nerd culture (which is big where I live), being a good cook and photographer, always having what others might need in my car, etc. If I fail at any of these, I often feel like a failure overall. It's way too harsh and undeserved, but it is how I have been since I was about eight.
I went to Connect, our young adults group, for the last time this past Tuesday. The message was about the parable of the man who found a treasure in a field, hid it, sold everything he had, and bought the field. Jesus was using that treasure to represent the kingdom of God. The obvious moral is that it's so much more valuable than anything else we have in life, we'd be foolish to cling to our possessions when we can have this instead.
I think there is another layer of meaning to it, however. I don't believe Jesus literally wanted everyone to sell everything they had just so they could have a relationship with Him. I mean, Abraham, Job, and Solomon were very wealthy men. Even Jesus had a robe so nice that the soldiers, instead of dividing it as appeared the custom, cast lots for who would get it. There's nothing wrong with Christians having money or enjoying nice things, just something wrong with letting money get in the way of our relationship with God.
More importantly, if you sell something, you don't have it anymore. This may sound too obvious to be worth mentioning, but when we try to attain the kingdom of Heaven, do we really sell all we have or do we claim to give our stuff up and then take it back? You can't do that and keep what you buy in any earthly transaction. You have to give it in exchange and leave it.
This means more, I think, than simply being willing to walk away from your money or your job or even moving to a nation hostile to Christians and risking your life preaching the Gospel. I think it means that you have to give up even your old way of thinking about yourself.
We do this with other things in life. When you become an employee of a company, you think of yourself as an employee, which means (or should at least) that you are willing to submit yourself to the managers of that company and do whatever they hired you to do. When you get married, you can no longer go dating other men or women like you could when you were single. You think of yourself differently because your situation is different.
When we become Christians, our situation changes more than we can really fathom. Yet most of us don't seem to see the fullness of that difference. We see that we have been saved, but don't understand what that should mean as far as how we see ourselves. We're no longer a collection of cells here by chance, trying to get as much stuff as we can before we die and cease to exist. Now we're bought with the death of the Son of God, redeemed from a horrible fate, and made children and heirs of the Creator of the universe.
What is it we hope to gain by continually seeking our value in how others view us, or in whether someone we like likes us as well, or in how much money or power or fame we have? We can't add to our value, nor can we decrease it (and how much time, emotions, and energy do we waste worrying about or trying to prevent others rejecting us?), so we are hunting all our lives for copper when there is gold at our feet.
I don't think Jesus wanted us to sell all we have to get the kingdom of God; He wanted something much more valuable: our hearts, including the way we see ourselves. If we cannot give that up to Him, we are missing one of the greatest blessings of being Christians.
The End of Mankind
There is an article on CNN.com right now about men needing to man up, and I agree with most of what the author said. By "man up", he means that women are earning almost half again more degrees than men, have seen their earnings rise faster, are getting better jobs than ever before, and generally seem far more mature. Men between 18 - 34 reportedly spend more time on average playing video games than boys 12-17.
I am ashamed to admit there are elements of what he criticizes us for that could be applied to my own life. While I don't usually play video games for hours and hours a day, I do play too much. I am currently looking for a job, but feel as though I have wasted most of the last three years trying to be a writer.
The one thing I liked least about the article, though, is that it didn't really delve into the reasons for the change. It essentially told men we need to get our act together and become more mature, but never explored why we're not. This is not simply a problem of our generation, nor even of just our sex.
First, people learn as children most of what they will believe as adults, especially in terms of what is acceptable behavior. If their fathers had quick tempers, they are more likely to. If their fathers were often absent, even if there is a good excuse such as having to work two jobs to pay the mortgage, then absenteeism is acceptable. If their fathers looked at women as sex objects or were no good at developing relationships, then boys will learn that's how women are to be treated. The only way out of this is for serious reflection, whether after a disaster or before, and even then, the change must be in the heart rather than just in the head if it's going to take.
To give an example of what I mean, my father has a quick temper and often yelled and swore. I used to be just as bad. Over the last few years, I've toned it down, but I still can be offended by some things too easily. I've learned to just walk away in most of those situations rather than have an outburst, but even that is not really the maturity level I should have. I need to be able to express myself in a manner that conveys that I am upset, but still be able to clearly explain why in a way that doesn't make things worse. I know it's a bad way to handle conflict. It's worse that I often just try to ignore annoyances and offenses until I can't take them anymore and then do what many consider an overreaction, since they had not seen before that I was offended by something.
Then there is the contribution of women, though this is more unwittingly and out of necessity. With more men in the last generation not being married when they had kids, leaving millions of single mothers, many boys have grown up with the notion that a woman is in control and will take care of us. Because these mothers are taking on both the role of the father and of the mother, the former of which they were, in most cases, doing without seeing their own mothers doing it, there were missteps made along the way, most notably that it's difficult for women to teach men how to be men. They are designed differently, they think differently, they act differently. They can talk about how a man should be, but they can't teach by example, and that's how most people learn behavior.
Now, I am not exonerating these boys trapped in men's bodies. Many of them are intelligent and a number went to college and even have good jobs. It's just that their emotionally immature and ill-suited to adult life. At some point in their lives, they must realize that they meant to be more than they are. They are meant to take charge of their lives. They are meant to make decisions and take responsibility for those decisions. They are meant to lead in a relationship and be the rock that her waves crash against. And if they don't know what this means, they need to ask older men or just men who have learned how to be men.
There's a show called Two and a Half Men about two men and a boy. One of the men was Charlie Sheen and you're probably all aware of his unfortunate meltdown. The producers replaced his character with Ashton Kutcher playing a handsome young billionaire who has everything...except that he and his wife are separated. He wants her back desperately, but he's all but helpless himself. He doesn't know what kind of toilet paper or shampoo to get, can't pick a restaurant for a dinner with his wife, and can't have a conversation with her without it devolving into him acting like a six-year old. While most men aren't quite that bad, men seem to be generally headed that direction. Our dependence on women has increased dramatically while our need for a real relationship with one has seemingly decreased. In other words, more and more men are looking for a mother and not a girlfriend or wife.
If there happen to be any men out there who don't know what it means to be a Christian man, here it is as I understand it:
- You don't rely on your job or significant other to make you feel good about yourself. This is because you don't need them to give you confidence; your confidence comes from how God sees you and not from how others view you. It's based on the value God has put on you, not on the value of your talents or skills or possessions.
- Because you're not dependent on your significant other or job for your feelings of self worth, you are free to treat each as they should be treated without letting a fear of losing them cloud your better judgment. There are many men who stay in jobs or relationships where they are walked all over because they fear being alone or jobless, or perhaps better said, they fear the feelings of failure from being alone or jobless. If you do not depend on these things, you do not have a controlling fear of losing them, allowing you to not put up with things you don't deserve.
- A real man controls his temper. It's ok to get angry. The Bible says, "Be angry and sin not." Anger is fine and sometimes perfectly justified. Cussing someone out, hitting, throwing pity parties, or crawling into a bottle are not acceptable ways to express it. Becoming silent and distant is really no better because it raises more questions with the person you're disagreeing with, causing them to become defensive and toying with their confidence. It also does nothing to solve the issue. If you are ticked with someone, spend a little time away if necessary until you can discuss it rationally, and then go and discuss it. Be direct and frank and open to the possibilities that you are either in the wrong yourself or overreacting.
- A real man leads. I don't count leading a team in Gears of War or World of Warcraft, either. . I mean a real man thinks about the direction of his life and what the relationships he is a part of need, even if that means ending them. I have recently had to end a friendship because it was no longer healthy for me. I have also pulled back from a few others because I didn't believe they were healthy for the other person. In another case, I talked to a friend about a man she was dating because I saw warning signs that I think will negatively affect their relationship down the road. Leading also includes making important life decisions that are in the best interests of everyone involved, not just himself.
- A real man is mature enough to take care of himself. Women have a vital role. They are meant to support us in a variety of ways and be partners with us in life. But their place is not to take care of every last little need we have to the point we're incompetent ourselves. A woman should not have to bug a man to turn off the X-box and go look for a job. She should not have to lay out his clothes for him every morning because he can't pick a decent outfit for himself. He should be able to fend for himself food-wise for an evening without making mac & cheese or ordering pizza or be able to do a load of laundry. Perhaps most importantly in this point, he should be mature enough to have a plan for his and his family's life, including achieving real financial security. This includes savings goals, investment plans (or at least being smart enough to let a firm manage his investments), career goals, and goals for learning new talents or skills.
- A real man is his own man. This relates to the first one quite closely. What I mean by this one is that a real man doesn't do everything his wife suggests and abandons all his own ideas if she so much as hesitates. He doesn't stop doing something he loves (provided, of course, it's not dangerous, illegal, immoral, consumes all his time, or is a drain on their finances) because she doesn't want to be a part of it or asks him not to. Guys, seriously, most women will actually respect you less if you do give up something like this. If she's bugging you to give up something that's a part of your identity, such as say watching football, reach a compromise with her. She probably just means you're spending too much time doing it. Analyze how much time you're actually spending on it and you may find she's right if you spend all weekend every weekend for five months in front of the TV. If so, compromise. Cut back and spend some time with her, but don't give it up entirely. If that's something you love and isn't harming anyone, it's unreasonable for her to make you give it up entirely.
- A real man speaks his mind when the situation calls for it. This includes calling out people for doing something wrong, even if it's not to you, on occasion. It means speaking your mind in meetings, asking questions when it's important, and not being afraid of whether others will agree with you.
- A real man loves God more than he'll ever love his wife or children and submits his life to God's will. This last key is the only way a man will ever be able to fulfill these other ones in a God-honoring way and become not just a man, but a man of God.
I am ashamed to admit there are elements of what he criticizes us for that could be applied to my own life. While I don't usually play video games for hours and hours a day, I do play too much. I am currently looking for a job, but feel as though I have wasted most of the last three years trying to be a writer.
The one thing I liked least about the article, though, is that it didn't really delve into the reasons for the change. It essentially told men we need to get our act together and become more mature, but never explored why we're not. This is not simply a problem of our generation, nor even of just our sex.
First, people learn as children most of what they will believe as adults, especially in terms of what is acceptable behavior. If their fathers had quick tempers, they are more likely to. If their fathers were often absent, even if there is a good excuse such as having to work two jobs to pay the mortgage, then absenteeism is acceptable. If their fathers looked at women as sex objects or were no good at developing relationships, then boys will learn that's how women are to be treated. The only way out of this is for serious reflection, whether after a disaster or before, and even then, the change must be in the heart rather than just in the head if it's going to take.
To give an example of what I mean, my father has a quick temper and often yelled and swore. I used to be just as bad. Over the last few years, I've toned it down, but I still can be offended by some things too easily. I've learned to just walk away in most of those situations rather than have an outburst, but even that is not really the maturity level I should have. I need to be able to express myself in a manner that conveys that I am upset, but still be able to clearly explain why in a way that doesn't make things worse. I know it's a bad way to handle conflict. It's worse that I often just try to ignore annoyances and offenses until I can't take them anymore and then do what many consider an overreaction, since they had not seen before that I was offended by something.
Then there is the contribution of women, though this is more unwittingly and out of necessity. With more men in the last generation not being married when they had kids, leaving millions of single mothers, many boys have grown up with the notion that a woman is in control and will take care of us. Because these mothers are taking on both the role of the father and of the mother, the former of which they were, in most cases, doing without seeing their own mothers doing it, there were missteps made along the way, most notably that it's difficult for women to teach men how to be men. They are designed differently, they think differently, they act differently. They can talk about how a man should be, but they can't teach by example, and that's how most people learn behavior.
Now, I am not exonerating these boys trapped in men's bodies. Many of them are intelligent and a number went to college and even have good jobs. It's just that their emotionally immature and ill-suited to adult life. At some point in their lives, they must realize that they meant to be more than they are. They are meant to take charge of their lives. They are meant to make decisions and take responsibility for those decisions. They are meant to lead in a relationship and be the rock that her waves crash against. And if they don't know what this means, they need to ask older men or just men who have learned how to be men.
There's a show called Two and a Half Men about two men and a boy. One of the men was Charlie Sheen and you're probably all aware of his unfortunate meltdown. The producers replaced his character with Ashton Kutcher playing a handsome young billionaire who has everything...except that he and his wife are separated. He wants her back desperately, but he's all but helpless himself. He doesn't know what kind of toilet paper or shampoo to get, can't pick a restaurant for a dinner with his wife, and can't have a conversation with her without it devolving into him acting like a six-year old. While most men aren't quite that bad, men seem to be generally headed that direction. Our dependence on women has increased dramatically while our need for a real relationship with one has seemingly decreased. In other words, more and more men are looking for a mother and not a girlfriend or wife.
If there happen to be any men out there who don't know what it means to be a Christian man, here it is as I understand it:
- You don't rely on your job or significant other to make you feel good about yourself. This is because you don't need them to give you confidence; your confidence comes from how God sees you and not from how others view you. It's based on the value God has put on you, not on the value of your talents or skills or possessions.
- Because you're not dependent on your significant other or job for your feelings of self worth, you are free to treat each as they should be treated without letting a fear of losing them cloud your better judgment. There are many men who stay in jobs or relationships where they are walked all over because they fear being alone or jobless, or perhaps better said, they fear the feelings of failure from being alone or jobless. If you do not depend on these things, you do not have a controlling fear of losing them, allowing you to not put up with things you don't deserve.
- A real man controls his temper. It's ok to get angry. The Bible says, "Be angry and sin not." Anger is fine and sometimes perfectly justified. Cussing someone out, hitting, throwing pity parties, or crawling into a bottle are not acceptable ways to express it. Becoming silent and distant is really no better because it raises more questions with the person you're disagreeing with, causing them to become defensive and toying with their confidence. It also does nothing to solve the issue. If you are ticked with someone, spend a little time away if necessary until you can discuss it rationally, and then go and discuss it. Be direct and frank and open to the possibilities that you are either in the wrong yourself or overreacting.
- A real man leads. I don't count leading a team in Gears of War or World of Warcraft, either. . I mean a real man thinks about the direction of his life and what the relationships he is a part of need, even if that means ending them. I have recently had to end a friendship because it was no longer healthy for me. I have also pulled back from a few others because I didn't believe they were healthy for the other person. In another case, I talked to a friend about a man she was dating because I saw warning signs that I think will negatively affect their relationship down the road. Leading also includes making important life decisions that are in the best interests of everyone involved, not just himself.
- A real man is mature enough to take care of himself. Women have a vital role. They are meant to support us in a variety of ways and be partners with us in life. But their place is not to take care of every last little need we have to the point we're incompetent ourselves. A woman should not have to bug a man to turn off the X-box and go look for a job. She should not have to lay out his clothes for him every morning because he can't pick a decent outfit for himself. He should be able to fend for himself food-wise for an evening without making mac & cheese or ordering pizza or be able to do a load of laundry. Perhaps most importantly in this point, he should be mature enough to have a plan for his and his family's life, including achieving real financial security. This includes savings goals, investment plans (or at least being smart enough to let a firm manage his investments), career goals, and goals for learning new talents or skills.
- A real man is his own man. This relates to the first one quite closely. What I mean by this one is that a real man doesn't do everything his wife suggests and abandons all his own ideas if she so much as hesitates. He doesn't stop doing something he loves (provided, of course, it's not dangerous, illegal, immoral, consumes all his time, or is a drain on their finances) because she doesn't want to be a part of it or asks him not to. Guys, seriously, most women will actually respect you less if you do give up something like this. If she's bugging you to give up something that's a part of your identity, such as say watching football, reach a compromise with her. She probably just means you're spending too much time doing it. Analyze how much time you're actually spending on it and you may find she's right if you spend all weekend every weekend for five months in front of the TV. If so, compromise. Cut back and spend some time with her, but don't give it up entirely. If that's something you love and isn't harming anyone, it's unreasonable for her to make you give it up entirely.
- A real man speaks his mind when the situation calls for it. This includes calling out people for doing something wrong, even if it's not to you, on occasion. It means speaking your mind in meetings, asking questions when it's important, and not being afraid of whether others will agree with you.
- A real man loves God more than he'll ever love his wife or children and submits his life to God's will. This last key is the only way a man will ever be able to fulfill these other ones in a God-honoring way and become not just a man, but a man of God.
Thursday, August 11, 2011
Separation of Church and State
Our country has narrowly avoided a tragedy: the default of the US on a number of its payments. Had we defaulted, we would have had to instantly cut our spending from around $325 billion a month to $200 billion a month. Say goodbye to retirement benefits for many government employees, a number of current employees, some entitlement programs, DOD spending, and many other projects and operations we run. Because the interest would still have to be paid (roughly $36 billion a month), this means our actual expenses would have gone from $289 billion down to $164 billion. This is essentially what the Tea Party wanted to do with the Cut, Cap, and Balance Act, reducing spending to never exceed income. It sounds good in theory, but slashing that high a percentage of programs all at once leads to:
- Far worse unemployment, since the US gov't is responsible, either directly or indirectly through contractors, for so many employees.
- More people dependent on churches and other charities than ever before, taxing their resources.
- Probably an initial surge in stock prices, but that would affect mostly those who are rich enough to not need the money.
- This surge would be followed by collapse as the unemployment and GDP figures come out.
- Many people losing their homes.
- Many not being able to afford health care.
- This list goes on and on and on. These effects would eventually level out, but it would take the better part of a decade for stability to return and even then, it would not be the same as it is now.
The Democrats' response was to raise the debt ceiling by almost $3 trillion, cut only $900 billion in spending (enough for about 7 months), and agree to talk about cutting up to a total of $3 trillion off spending in the next decade, though these changes would not have to be ratified. At best, that's only 20% of our overages over the next decade and that's IF things don't get worse and all these changes are enacted.
Imagine a man going to the hospital with a gash in his neck. It's bleeding quickly, so they rush him to surgery prep and the two surgeons on call debate about what to do to stop the bleeding. One says, "I think we oughtta put a tourniquet around his neck." The other says, "Let's put a band-aid on and hope for the best." And then they argued about this until the very last second before the patient died and then performed a lazy surgery that just slowed the bleeding enough that they could keep the patient alive with blood transfusions.
We have elections coming up next year. Many Senators and Representatives will be kicked out, Obama may or may not be re-elected, and it seems that many of the Republican candidates are viewed as nutjobs that not even Republicans really like. Palin seems like a backwaters rube with no foreign experience, Romney has flipped back and forth on major issues, Bachmann (though I haven't followed her enough to know her actual stances) seems to be regarded as a little off her rocker, and Rick Perry has the, "Oh, Lord, not another Texan!" zeitgeist hanging over him courtesy of Bush.
I go on CNN for most of my news and, as I'm sure you're aware, it's a very liberal-leaning site. Most of the people who post on articles there are also liberals and one of the things they bring up most often about the Republicans (to bash them or make fun of them) is that they're Christian. Christianity is now looked at as a bad thing by a large number, and perhaps a majority, of people in this country, particularly when you try to bring your beliefs with you into public office. "Oh, you can't do that! Separation of church and state!"
The thing is that everyone brings their beliefs into office with them. A person can't do anything against their beliefs. And that is the point of this post (I know, I took my sweet time getting here, didn't I?)
You may be thinking: well, of course they can. Look at all these pastors caught cheating on their wives. Look at all the politicians standing for one thing during their campaigns and then changing their minds when it comes time to vote. Even I've made a mistake or two along the way.
Yes, that's all true. The point, though, is that nothing mentioned is really against the person's beliefs, or at least not their primary beliefs. Let's take lying for example. You may say it's wrong to lie and believe that, yet lie when it gets you out of trouble. Let's take it a step further and say that you lie to keep someone else out of trouble. You do this because you believe that person should stay out of trouble more than you believe lying is bad. Your primary belief takes over your lesser ones. With the pastors, their belief that they have a right to be happy or enjoy another woman outweighs their belief that God wants what is best for them and that this is not it.
Using this, we can define religion as our core beliefs. I'd encourage you to take some time to define yours. Be very careful when you do this. Your head will almost certainly tell you something different than your heart, but your head is not where religion comes from. The reason I give this warning is that those reading this (assuming most are Christians) will probably jump up to say the Christian mantra about Jesus dying for them, being resurrected, etc. I don't mean to disparage that, but if that were your true core belief, the one thing you held true, you'd never sin, and yet you do. So there's some core belief above that one, somewhere, or at the very least, competing neck-and-neck with it.
For me, at my core, I believe I deserve to be loved, accepted, and forgiven. It tears me apart that everyone else can find dates so easily (or at least has people who want to date them), is somebody's best or 2nd-best friend, is generally liked by the groups they're a part of, and is genuinely forgiven for most of what they do wrong. It makes me feel like less of a person that I have/am none of these. (I don't say this in an effort to get anyone to pity me; I'm using this just as an example.) As an offshoot of this, combined with the fear I will never be as human as other people, I believe I deserve to find happiness in what small ways I can. Some of these are "lesser" sins, some are not sinful at all, but all further cement me in my beliefs because they are all I really know of happiness.
I stepped down from the leadership team of my young adults group. I needed to get my mind and, more importantly, my heart right. It's hard when I don't even know what that looks like.
It was a position where I had not separated church and state, but I had the wrong church. What is your church? What is your state? How well do the two really align? Just some food for thought.
- Far worse unemployment, since the US gov't is responsible, either directly or indirectly through contractors, for so many employees.
- More people dependent on churches and other charities than ever before, taxing their resources.
- Probably an initial surge in stock prices, but that would affect mostly those who are rich enough to not need the money.
- This surge would be followed by collapse as the unemployment and GDP figures come out.
- Many people losing their homes.
- Many not being able to afford health care.
- This list goes on and on and on. These effects would eventually level out, but it would take the better part of a decade for stability to return and even then, it would not be the same as it is now.
The Democrats' response was to raise the debt ceiling by almost $3 trillion, cut only $900 billion in spending (enough for about 7 months), and agree to talk about cutting up to a total of $3 trillion off spending in the next decade, though these changes would not have to be ratified. At best, that's only 20% of our overages over the next decade and that's IF things don't get worse and all these changes are enacted.
Imagine a man going to the hospital with a gash in his neck. It's bleeding quickly, so they rush him to surgery prep and the two surgeons on call debate about what to do to stop the bleeding. One says, "I think we oughtta put a tourniquet around his neck." The other says, "Let's put a band-aid on and hope for the best." And then they argued about this until the very last second before the patient died and then performed a lazy surgery that just slowed the bleeding enough that they could keep the patient alive with blood transfusions.
We have elections coming up next year. Many Senators and Representatives will be kicked out, Obama may or may not be re-elected, and it seems that many of the Republican candidates are viewed as nutjobs that not even Republicans really like. Palin seems like a backwaters rube with no foreign experience, Romney has flipped back and forth on major issues, Bachmann (though I haven't followed her enough to know her actual stances) seems to be regarded as a little off her rocker, and Rick Perry has the, "Oh, Lord, not another Texan!" zeitgeist hanging over him courtesy of Bush.
I go on CNN for most of my news and, as I'm sure you're aware, it's a very liberal-leaning site. Most of the people who post on articles there are also liberals and one of the things they bring up most often about the Republicans (to bash them or make fun of them) is that they're Christian. Christianity is now looked at as a bad thing by a large number, and perhaps a majority, of people in this country, particularly when you try to bring your beliefs with you into public office. "Oh, you can't do that! Separation of church and state!"
The thing is that everyone brings their beliefs into office with them. A person can't do anything against their beliefs. And that is the point of this post (I know, I took my sweet time getting here, didn't I?)
You may be thinking: well, of course they can. Look at all these pastors caught cheating on their wives. Look at all the politicians standing for one thing during their campaigns and then changing their minds when it comes time to vote. Even I've made a mistake or two along the way.
Yes, that's all true. The point, though, is that nothing mentioned is really against the person's beliefs, or at least not their primary beliefs. Let's take lying for example. You may say it's wrong to lie and believe that, yet lie when it gets you out of trouble. Let's take it a step further and say that you lie to keep someone else out of trouble. You do this because you believe that person should stay out of trouble more than you believe lying is bad. Your primary belief takes over your lesser ones. With the pastors, their belief that they have a right to be happy or enjoy another woman outweighs their belief that God wants what is best for them and that this is not it.
Using this, we can define religion as our core beliefs. I'd encourage you to take some time to define yours. Be very careful when you do this. Your head will almost certainly tell you something different than your heart, but your head is not where religion comes from. The reason I give this warning is that those reading this (assuming most are Christians) will probably jump up to say the Christian mantra about Jesus dying for them, being resurrected, etc. I don't mean to disparage that, but if that were your true core belief, the one thing you held true, you'd never sin, and yet you do. So there's some core belief above that one, somewhere, or at the very least, competing neck-and-neck with it.
For me, at my core, I believe I deserve to be loved, accepted, and forgiven. It tears me apart that everyone else can find dates so easily (or at least has people who want to date them), is somebody's best or 2nd-best friend, is generally liked by the groups they're a part of, and is genuinely forgiven for most of what they do wrong. It makes me feel like less of a person that I have/am none of these. (I don't say this in an effort to get anyone to pity me; I'm using this just as an example.) As an offshoot of this, combined with the fear I will never be as human as other people, I believe I deserve to find happiness in what small ways I can. Some of these are "lesser" sins, some are not sinful at all, but all further cement me in my beliefs because they are all I really know of happiness.
I stepped down from the leadership team of my young adults group. I needed to get my mind and, more importantly, my heart right. It's hard when I don't even know what that looks like.
It was a position where I had not separated church and state, but I had the wrong church. What is your church? What is your state? How well do the two really align? Just some food for thought.
Monday, March 21, 2011
Goodbye For Now
This will be my last post, at least for a while. It seems rather pointless to do this if all of these go unread or, at best, without any sort of effect for anyone. And I don't blame anyone who has missed this for missing it. I have finally figured out the real problem in my life, but maybe that doesn't even matter now...at least, not for those who currently know me.
I can only go with God, can only trust Him, and can only obey Him. Pray that God reveals more of Himself to you and pray for each other; as broken as we all are, we need it.
I can only go with God, can only trust Him, and can only obey Him. Pray that God reveals more of Himself to you and pray for each other; as broken as we all are, we need it.
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
Cracked
I've talked with a few non-Christian friends about God and one of the most common objections is, "How can a loving God send people to hell?" Along those same lines is, "I'm a pretty good person, so I should make it to heaven, right?"
For the first one, I have lots of thoughts. One is that it's more our free will that determines where we go rather than some arbitrary judgment on God's part. What I mean is, say I was a billionaire and offered you a million dollars to come to where I live. You refuse and go to Detroit. I'm not in Detroit, so you don't get the million dollars. Whose fault is it?
"But God knows what I'm going to choose, right? And He's all-powerful, isn't He? So why can't He just make the situations in my life go so that I choose Him and not hell?"
Because that would essentially take away your free will. God's purpose for you is to glorify Him. Before you say that's awfully self-aggrandizing of Him, two things: 1. No amount of praise we can give Him can ever be enough. I don't mean that as a way to praise Him, I mean that as in nothing we can do can make Him greater or more powerful (or, conversely, less so). He doesn't need us; we need Him. 2. You can't do that if you have no free will. If you're forced to serve and obey, there can be no love. It is the love of God and love for God that you need, not to be enslaved.
"Why is there hell in the first place? Why can't we all just disappear if we're not going to heaven?"
God created us to be immortal. Could He have made it so that we just disappear when we die if we don't go to heaven? Yes, but then, we'd have no real motivation to choose Him. As for hell itself, I think (and I cannot find any Bible verse either for or against this particular idea) that the true torture of hell is not the flames or pitchforks or whatever else is there, but the total separation from God, from all hope and love, and yet being poignantly aware of the lack of it. Essentially, the analogy of you going to Detroit is appropriate here, too, because you could have gone anywhere in the world and, if that place is not where I live, you choose to get nothing because I am not there. All of those places are equally void of me and so are essentially the same. Likewise, choosing Buddhism, atheism, Islam, or even scientology is pretty much all the same choice.
"But I'm a good person. I give to the poor, haven't killed or raped anyone, and try to generally be nice to people. I get to go to heaven, right?"
I have perhaps even more thoughts on this particular question than on the first one:
1. Many non-believers think God is cruel for sending non-believers to hell if they don't believe. Even aside from the free will argument above, keep in mind that we are His creation, which really gives Him the right to do whatever He sees fit. If you made a pie, but then that pie fell on the floor, you could spend some time scraping off the part that had contact with the floor and carefully making sure the rest was hair- and dirt-free and uncontaminated or you could throw the pie away. Either decision is entirely your right and the pie, if it could talk, would have no right to argue or demand one type of treatment over the other.
2. Most of the negative feedback I hear on this topic is against the Christian God, even though all religions (that I'm aware of) have either hell or an infinite series of lives on earth (some as animals or as people with deformities, severe poverty, or other handicaps) and all but Christianity are based on works. Being good enough gets you to heaven or nirvana or wherever. You just never know until you die whether you've been good enough. Christianity is the only religion that accepts you as you are, and once you get that, it changes you. There are no requirements of service or prayer a certain number of days or giving to the poor. Service, prayer, and charity are encouraged, even commanded, but are nowhere used as the basis for salvation. In other words, while Christianity may be the most adamant religion in that you have to be pure and holy to get to heaven, it is also the one in which heaven is most easily attainable and the one in which we can be assured of heaven while still alive. All we have to do is accept who Jesus is and what He did for us and we're in.
3. Some people complain that with other religions, you can mess up and still get in, whereas with Christianity, one mistake and you're done for. It's true; if you reject Jesus, the only way into heaven is absolute perfection, which we've all fallen short of. Think about it in terms of the law: if you rob a gas station at gunpoint, the judge won't care that you give money to charity, attend church every Sunday, and coach the local Little League baseball team. You go to jail, even if that's your first offense.
If you have an egg and you notice a crack in it, you probably throw the egg away. Why? Because it's contaminated. One crack may as well be 1,000. Same with most food that we drop on the floor. Whether it's down there for four seconds or four months is all the same and we throw it away. We're used to several examples of perfection being demanded or else the item in question is tossed.
With Christianity, though, there's a way to make up for any number of any type of flaws and it's free (for us, at least). Christianity is not the religion that makes it hardest to get to heaven, but the easiest.
4. When I hear people argue the Bible against Christianity, someone invariably brings up the stringent laws of the Old Testament, saying things like, "According to the Bible, if wear clothes of two different materials, we should be stoned, so Christianity is false." That law is under Judaism, not Christianity. The point of Christianity was that we can't adhere to the law and need someone to accept the punishment for our failure. The law has now been fulfilled by Jesus, so all we need to do is accept Him. After all, He's the only one who accepts cracked eggs like us.
For the first one, I have lots of thoughts. One is that it's more our free will that determines where we go rather than some arbitrary judgment on God's part. What I mean is, say I was a billionaire and offered you a million dollars to come to where I live. You refuse and go to Detroit. I'm not in Detroit, so you don't get the million dollars. Whose fault is it?
"But God knows what I'm going to choose, right? And He's all-powerful, isn't He? So why can't He just make the situations in my life go so that I choose Him and not hell?"
Because that would essentially take away your free will. God's purpose for you is to glorify Him. Before you say that's awfully self-aggrandizing of Him, two things: 1. No amount of praise we can give Him can ever be enough. I don't mean that as a way to praise Him, I mean that as in nothing we can do can make Him greater or more powerful (or, conversely, less so). He doesn't need us; we need Him. 2. You can't do that if you have no free will. If you're forced to serve and obey, there can be no love. It is the love of God and love for God that you need, not to be enslaved.
"Why is there hell in the first place? Why can't we all just disappear if we're not going to heaven?"
God created us to be immortal. Could He have made it so that we just disappear when we die if we don't go to heaven? Yes, but then, we'd have no real motivation to choose Him. As for hell itself, I think (and I cannot find any Bible verse either for or against this particular idea) that the true torture of hell is not the flames or pitchforks or whatever else is there, but the total separation from God, from all hope and love, and yet being poignantly aware of the lack of it. Essentially, the analogy of you going to Detroit is appropriate here, too, because you could have gone anywhere in the world and, if that place is not where I live, you choose to get nothing because I am not there. All of those places are equally void of me and so are essentially the same. Likewise, choosing Buddhism, atheism, Islam, or even scientology is pretty much all the same choice.
"But I'm a good person. I give to the poor, haven't killed or raped anyone, and try to generally be nice to people. I get to go to heaven, right?"
I have perhaps even more thoughts on this particular question than on the first one:
1. Many non-believers think God is cruel for sending non-believers to hell if they don't believe. Even aside from the free will argument above, keep in mind that we are His creation, which really gives Him the right to do whatever He sees fit. If you made a pie, but then that pie fell on the floor, you could spend some time scraping off the part that had contact with the floor and carefully making sure the rest was hair- and dirt-free and uncontaminated or you could throw the pie away. Either decision is entirely your right and the pie, if it could talk, would have no right to argue or demand one type of treatment over the other.
2. Most of the negative feedback I hear on this topic is against the Christian God, even though all religions (that I'm aware of) have either hell or an infinite series of lives on earth (some as animals or as people with deformities, severe poverty, or other handicaps) and all but Christianity are based on works. Being good enough gets you to heaven or nirvana or wherever. You just never know until you die whether you've been good enough. Christianity is the only religion that accepts you as you are, and once you get that, it changes you. There are no requirements of service or prayer a certain number of days or giving to the poor. Service, prayer, and charity are encouraged, even commanded, but are nowhere used as the basis for salvation. In other words, while Christianity may be the most adamant religion in that you have to be pure and holy to get to heaven, it is also the one in which heaven is most easily attainable and the one in which we can be assured of heaven while still alive. All we have to do is accept who Jesus is and what He did for us and we're in.
3. Some people complain that with other religions, you can mess up and still get in, whereas with Christianity, one mistake and you're done for. It's true; if you reject Jesus, the only way into heaven is absolute perfection, which we've all fallen short of. Think about it in terms of the law: if you rob a gas station at gunpoint, the judge won't care that you give money to charity, attend church every Sunday, and coach the local Little League baseball team. You go to jail, even if that's your first offense.
If you have an egg and you notice a crack in it, you probably throw the egg away. Why? Because it's contaminated. One crack may as well be 1,000. Same with most food that we drop on the floor. Whether it's down there for four seconds or four months is all the same and we throw it away. We're used to several examples of perfection being demanded or else the item in question is tossed.
With Christianity, though, there's a way to make up for any number of any type of flaws and it's free (for us, at least). Christianity is not the religion that makes it hardest to get to heaven, but the easiest.
4. When I hear people argue the Bible against Christianity, someone invariably brings up the stringent laws of the Old Testament, saying things like, "According to the Bible, if wear clothes of two different materials, we should be stoned, so Christianity is false." That law is under Judaism, not Christianity. The point of Christianity was that we can't adhere to the law and need someone to accept the punishment for our failure. The law has now been fulfilled by Jesus, so all we need to do is accept Him. After all, He's the only one who accepts cracked eggs like us.
Sunday, March 13, 2011
Can't Think of a Good Title Right Now
But maybe that's appropriate because I can't think of a lot of things. Normally, I'm a pretty decisive person. Lately, I can't seem to decide what I want in a number of things: whether to go back to working a full-time job or keep writing, which woman I want to pursue, whether I want to go through the training necessary to become a Christian counselor, where I am best able to serve in the church, even which of the two cameras I just got to keep.
When I was working in the corporate world, I wasn't very decisive, but then, I didn't need to be. I was given orders and I carried them out like a good soldier. I worked my butt off, too, because I had people I was trying to impress or something I was trying to earn. There was not only a goal, but a negative consequence for failure, and that consequence was more severe than just having to work another weekend or late night. It was the disapproval of those who had given me the task.
I've realized recently that nearly all I do has been with some goal in mind of pleasing others. I've been doing P90X in part for health reasons, since heart problems seem to run in the family, but more so I can look good at the beach this summer. Why? Because at least one of the women I'm interested in prefers guys who are very physically fit. I buy games and movies that others seem to like so they can be happy they invited me over. I even learn some things more with the goal of coming across as intelligent than because I really wanted to learn them. I cook more complex meals more often now for my friends than for just me. And strangely, even though there's some part of me that realizes what many of them want is to be able to understand me and read me, I deny them that by keeping a stone-faced visage when I'm not laughing or miserable.
In short, I don't know anymore what makes me truly happy. I enjoy certain things, but I enjoy them more for the results than for the doing of them. One exception is baseball. Another might be math, though there is certainly an element of doing math that makes me feel intelligent and I still base a sizable portion of my identity on how smart people think of me as, all while concurrently wishing they wouldn't find me intelligent because that seems to alienate me to some of them. Maybe hiking in the woods is a third. But none of those are things I can do for a living. None of those are callings, at least not in my life. What is it that I'm supposed to do here and why? What is it that I enjoy doing, rather than doing it to make others like me?
I feel so false right now. It's not that I've lied about anything I've written here, either in this post or before (though it must be admitted that I am far too human to live up to the ideals hitherto presented); it's that I feel I've been living for others all this time and not for myself. And I don't even know how much I should be living for myself. I mean, I know I should be giving my life over to God to let Him work what He wills in it, but at the same time, I want that to be my decision, not a caving in to someone else's preference.
I heard a quip a while back that a friend reminded me of yesterday, "God, please let me be the kind of person my dog thinks I am." Right now, I'm just praying, "God, please let me be the person who doesn't care what kind of person my dog (or anyone else) thinks I am. Let me be who You want me to be."
When I was working in the corporate world, I wasn't very decisive, but then, I didn't need to be. I was given orders and I carried them out like a good soldier. I worked my butt off, too, because I had people I was trying to impress or something I was trying to earn. There was not only a goal, but a negative consequence for failure, and that consequence was more severe than just having to work another weekend or late night. It was the disapproval of those who had given me the task.
I've realized recently that nearly all I do has been with some goal in mind of pleasing others. I've been doing P90X in part for health reasons, since heart problems seem to run in the family, but more so I can look good at the beach this summer. Why? Because at least one of the women I'm interested in prefers guys who are very physically fit. I buy games and movies that others seem to like so they can be happy they invited me over. I even learn some things more with the goal of coming across as intelligent than because I really wanted to learn them. I cook more complex meals more often now for my friends than for just me. And strangely, even though there's some part of me that realizes what many of them want is to be able to understand me and read me, I deny them that by keeping a stone-faced visage when I'm not laughing or miserable.
In short, I don't know anymore what makes me truly happy. I enjoy certain things, but I enjoy them more for the results than for the doing of them. One exception is baseball. Another might be math, though there is certainly an element of doing math that makes me feel intelligent and I still base a sizable portion of my identity on how smart people think of me as, all while concurrently wishing they wouldn't find me intelligent because that seems to alienate me to some of them. Maybe hiking in the woods is a third. But none of those are things I can do for a living. None of those are callings, at least not in my life. What is it that I'm supposed to do here and why? What is it that I enjoy doing, rather than doing it to make others like me?
I feel so false right now. It's not that I've lied about anything I've written here, either in this post or before (though it must be admitted that I am far too human to live up to the ideals hitherto presented); it's that I feel I've been living for others all this time and not for myself. And I don't even know how much I should be living for myself. I mean, I know I should be giving my life over to God to let Him work what He wills in it, but at the same time, I want that to be my decision, not a caving in to someone else's preference.
I heard a quip a while back that a friend reminded me of yesterday, "God, please let me be the kind of person my dog thinks I am." Right now, I'm just praying, "God, please let me be the person who doesn't care what kind of person my dog (or anyone else) thinks I am. Let me be who You want me to be."
Thursday, March 10, 2011
When to Live
I've been told that I spend too much time living in the past. It's hard lately to not live in the past, as I'm about to turn 30. I'm still single, unpublished, and without a house. For the longest time, my life has been on pause...and yet time hasn't slowed down. I was so petty and immature for the longest time, so down on myself, and so wrapped up in work that I didn't even bother to ask women out, didn't send my work to publishers, and had my money devoted elsewhere so I couldn't get a house.
And now that I'm about to turn 30, I wish so much that I could go back and do college all over. Or even from a week after graduation (there's no way I'd want to restart my do-over time with the CPA exam I took four days after graduation ;) ). I'd have been more confident, realized that it is actually possible for people to like me just for who I am, realized that God is in control (and I'm not), and not worked 80 hour weeks for about five years.
Or would I?
I recently signed a peace treaty with myself. I know it sounds stupid, but I put it down in writing that I wasn't going to hate myself anymore. I recognized the cause of it, the purported motivation behind it, and the effects it was really having, and then agreed that I wouldn't do it anymore. The treaty is actually on the wall in front of my computer. Have I broken it since? Yes, twice. But it's been three weeks, so being down on myself twice is a major step forward. And yet, I haven't asked anyone out in that time, haven't sent anything to a publisher, and haven't looked for a job. So how much has really changed? Maybe I'm being impatient. Maybe I'm feeling the stress of "impending doom" approaching on May 28 and will feel like I've missed the boat if I don't have something done.
I know that living life looking the rear view mirror won't help me going forward. What I wonder, though, is whether it's better to live in the moment or live in the future. On the one hand, none of us can predict the future, so we have to rely on God. All we can do is live in the moment. "Worry not about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself," right? On the other hand, the Bible tells us a good man stores up an inheritance for his children's children. That's some long-term thinking. It also asks, "Which of you, if building a barn, doesn't sit down first and consider whether you have enough to finish it?" It's a project that requires forward thinking to complete. Also, we're commanded to have our minds on the things of heaven and not the things of this world, which is extreme forward thinking, since we won't know what kind of treasures we've stored there until we arrive.
I know the Sunday school answer is to plan for the future, but be open to God's will changing our plans, and then not worry about it and live in the present. Like all Sunday school answers, it's long on wisdom and short on practical application.
Another quandary is why atheists live for the moment. I know the obvious answer is they have no future to live for, but to me, that makes it more imperative that they not waste the present on themselves. If there is no future for themselves, then their future is the future of others. Why should they care about others? Well, for one, caring about themselves does no real good. If, when they die, they just vanish and all existence ceases, then what good is having all the money in the world, all the women or men one could want, all the good times? "Vanity, vanity, all is vanity!" The only wisdom in such a world is helping others to see that their self-seeking is worthless, but then, if God doesn't exist, then this gives purpose to the purposeless...and isn't a purpose what we're really after? Don't we always want to know why?
So far, the most compelling reason I have to not live in the past is that it's in violation of my contract. It's not the best reason, but it's the one that is going to make the most impact on me. How much time to spend in the future and how much in the present...that's what I don't yet know.
And now that I'm about to turn 30, I wish so much that I could go back and do college all over. Or even from a week after graduation (there's no way I'd want to restart my do-over time with the CPA exam I took four days after graduation ;) ). I'd have been more confident, realized that it is actually possible for people to like me just for who I am, realized that God is in control (and I'm not), and not worked 80 hour weeks for about five years.
Or would I?
I recently signed a peace treaty with myself. I know it sounds stupid, but I put it down in writing that I wasn't going to hate myself anymore. I recognized the cause of it, the purported motivation behind it, and the effects it was really having, and then agreed that I wouldn't do it anymore. The treaty is actually on the wall in front of my computer. Have I broken it since? Yes, twice. But it's been three weeks, so being down on myself twice is a major step forward. And yet, I haven't asked anyone out in that time, haven't sent anything to a publisher, and haven't looked for a job. So how much has really changed? Maybe I'm being impatient. Maybe I'm feeling the stress of "impending doom" approaching on May 28 and will feel like I've missed the boat if I don't have something done.
I know that living life looking the rear view mirror won't help me going forward. What I wonder, though, is whether it's better to live in the moment or live in the future. On the one hand, none of us can predict the future, so we have to rely on God. All we can do is live in the moment. "Worry not about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself," right? On the other hand, the Bible tells us a good man stores up an inheritance for his children's children. That's some long-term thinking. It also asks, "Which of you, if building a barn, doesn't sit down first and consider whether you have enough to finish it?" It's a project that requires forward thinking to complete. Also, we're commanded to have our minds on the things of heaven and not the things of this world, which is extreme forward thinking, since we won't know what kind of treasures we've stored there until we arrive.
I know the Sunday school answer is to plan for the future, but be open to God's will changing our plans, and then not worry about it and live in the present. Like all Sunday school answers, it's long on wisdom and short on practical application.
Another quandary is why atheists live for the moment. I know the obvious answer is they have no future to live for, but to me, that makes it more imperative that they not waste the present on themselves. If there is no future for themselves, then their future is the future of others. Why should they care about others? Well, for one, caring about themselves does no real good. If, when they die, they just vanish and all existence ceases, then what good is having all the money in the world, all the women or men one could want, all the good times? "Vanity, vanity, all is vanity!" The only wisdom in such a world is helping others to see that their self-seeking is worthless, but then, if God doesn't exist, then this gives purpose to the purposeless...and isn't a purpose what we're really after? Don't we always want to know why?
So far, the most compelling reason I have to not live in the past is that it's in violation of my contract. It's not the best reason, but it's the one that is going to make the most impact on me. How much time to spend in the future and how much in the present...that's what I don't yet know.
Friday, March 4, 2011
Time for Plan B?
Sometimes, I wonder why I'm actually here, both in the individual sense and in the overall humanity sense. Why did God create us? We can't possibly do anything that makes Him greater or more powerful or provide Him with something He needs. To say that we've cost Him an arm and a leg is actually an understatement. Yet He did it anyway.
The part that really blows my mind is that He created us knowing precisely what it would cost Him. A number of Christians, and I used to count myself among them, had this idea, whether stated or just in the back of their minds, that Jesus was some sort of plan B. God created everything in this world perfectly and made Adam and Eve perfect and pure. Then they messed it up and God had to come up with a plan for salvation. Jesus volunteered, waited a few thousand years, and then paid for all our sins...or at least, that's about how it went in my head.
Jesus, though, was never plan B. He didn't volunteer after the Fall, but before it. God created us and the world in perfection, but He knew it wouldn't stay that way. He knew that it would become broken, that He would have to redeem it.
When somebody wrongs me, I have to find it in my heart to forgive them. I don't know that there is anything to forgive until the wrong has been done. God knew before the world was created what every single wrong against Him would be, and chose to forgive it all anyway.
When I have a broken situation in my life, I have to come up with a plan to fix or replace it, but I can only do this after I know what's broken. God knew exactly what would break and already had a plan in place before He created us.
In short, one cannot say that Jesus was plan B unless one also claims that God is not omniscient, that we somehow surprised Him with our sin. Did He create us intending that we would sin? No, but He knew we would, much like a parent doesn't intend for a child to hurt others, but knows he or she will throughout life.
What I don't understand about it is how He did it. Which of us, if we were about to get married, somehow just knew without question that our future spouse would cheat on us, not once, but time after time after time, would go through with the marriage? Which of us, if we were about to adopt a child, found out that the child would become a murderer no matter how much we loved him and that we would have to pay the penalty for his crimes, would adopt him? I can't raise my hand to either of these. Betting you can't, either. Yet He did.
I guess my real point is that I don't understand His love. With the situations I listed above, saying no, in our human understanding, is smart because of pain avoidance/self-preservation. With God, there's none of that. He died for the very people who were killing Him. You could argue that He wasn't dead very long, but the point is He was willing to go through that pain so we didn't have to. In how many other religions is there a sacrifice of even nearly this magnitude? It would be amazing enough if Jesus was plan B, amazing because God had the right to wipe us out and start over or just leave the world empty, but it's so much more amazing to know that He knew from the beginning just what He would do to save us from ourselves.
The part that really blows my mind is that He created us knowing precisely what it would cost Him. A number of Christians, and I used to count myself among them, had this idea, whether stated or just in the back of their minds, that Jesus was some sort of plan B. God created everything in this world perfectly and made Adam and Eve perfect and pure. Then they messed it up and God had to come up with a plan for salvation. Jesus volunteered, waited a few thousand years, and then paid for all our sins...or at least, that's about how it went in my head.
Jesus, though, was never plan B. He didn't volunteer after the Fall, but before it. God created us and the world in perfection, but He knew it wouldn't stay that way. He knew that it would become broken, that He would have to redeem it.
When somebody wrongs me, I have to find it in my heart to forgive them. I don't know that there is anything to forgive until the wrong has been done. God knew before the world was created what every single wrong against Him would be, and chose to forgive it all anyway.
When I have a broken situation in my life, I have to come up with a plan to fix or replace it, but I can only do this after I know what's broken. God knew exactly what would break and already had a plan in place before He created us.
In short, one cannot say that Jesus was plan B unless one also claims that God is not omniscient, that we somehow surprised Him with our sin. Did He create us intending that we would sin? No, but He knew we would, much like a parent doesn't intend for a child to hurt others, but knows he or she will throughout life.
What I don't understand about it is how He did it. Which of us, if we were about to get married, somehow just knew without question that our future spouse would cheat on us, not once, but time after time after time, would go through with the marriage? Which of us, if we were about to adopt a child, found out that the child would become a murderer no matter how much we loved him and that we would have to pay the penalty for his crimes, would adopt him? I can't raise my hand to either of these. Betting you can't, either. Yet He did.
I guess my real point is that I don't understand His love. With the situations I listed above, saying no, in our human understanding, is smart because of pain avoidance/self-preservation. With God, there's none of that. He died for the very people who were killing Him. You could argue that He wasn't dead very long, but the point is He was willing to go through that pain so we didn't have to. In how many other religions is there a sacrifice of even nearly this magnitude? It would be amazing enough if Jesus was plan B, amazing because God had the right to wipe us out and start over or just leave the world empty, but it's so much more amazing to know that He knew from the beginning just what He would do to save us from ourselves.
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
Editing My Friends List
Most people are on some sort of social networking site (or several). Those who are may have edited their friends list. Over the course of time, you get to be "friends" with people who fade from your life or whom you never really knew anyway. Some may be people you met once and thought they were really cool, but never had a reason or opportunity to speak to them again. And so you purge your friends list from time to time. Or I do, about once a year.
There's so-and-so who friended me and I know I knew them in college, but we were never really friends, so he's gone. Here's a woman I dated a few times, but she's far enough away that our paths will never cross and I think she's seeing someone else anyway, so sayonara to her. There's another person who can't seem to have a conversation with me without telling me how awful their life is, so adios.
Some of the reasons I use to clean up my friends list may be perfectly valid; others, perhaps not. But I've rarely gone out with the intention of meeting people, much less adding them to my friends list. It's not just that I'm introverted, it's that my friendships just sort of happen. I don't actively seek out new people, let alone try to get a certain type of person as a friend. Granted, most of my opportunities to meet new people comes through church, so the variety of my pool is a bit limited, but even if it wasn't, would I actively seek out those who need a friend the most?
We all need friends, whether Christian or not, but those without Christ need not just me as their friend, but an example of what Christ is like. Do we really show that to people? Do we seek out opportunities to do it? Jesus didn't hang out with the church crowd all the time. Yes, He spoke in synagogues and talked to Pharisees and Sadducees, but He also made fast friends with prostitutes, tax collectors (who were essentially government-sanctioned thieves), adulterers, and other such "unholy" people.
I once had dinner with a former prostitute. I was going for a walk back when I lived in Tulsa and she wanted someone to escort her to IHOP across several parking lots and then across a street. It was pretty late and the parking lots were dark, so I agreed to that and then she insisted on buying me dinner and she told me her story. She'd gotten saved a few years before that night and was trying to get into the college I'd just graduated from. I listened and thought it was a good story, but I honestly don't know if I'd have had dinner with her if she was a prostitute at the time. I almost certainly wouldn't have sought out her company to hear her story and talk to her about God. I don't think about such things often now and I don't have that many opportunities (or perhaps I simply don't make them), but I wonder if I would take them if they appeared before me.
About a year ago, a few friends and I were coming back from a basketball game and taking the metro out to a station. There was a woman who was trying to hold it in, but was crying and obviously in deep emotional pain. I felt an urge to talk to her, but I didn't. I was afraid of her snapping at me, of making a fool of myself, of embarrassing her, and just thought she would clam up, apologize for crying, and say everything was fine.
Perhaps the most striking example, though only because I know the end result, was that someone I worked with when I first moved into the area committed suicide. He was even newer than I was and messed up big-time about a month or two in. My boss, who seemed close to the CEO, told me this guy would be fired. I felt bad, because I was getting to know this guy; he sat right next to me. This guy called me that night and asked point blank if I knew whether he was getting fired. I couldn't lie to him, but I told him maybe if he promised to make things right, his boss and the CEO might give him another chance. I told him to come in on Monday (this mess happened on a Friday), apologize, and work his butt off to fix it and see what happens. He mentioned something about, "If I never see you again, thanks for being a good friend." In retrospect, maybe that should have warned me more clearly, but I thought he just meant if he was fired, our paths likely wouldn't cross.
The next day, he killed himself.
I'm not saying I take responsibility for his decision or that it's my fault this happened. What I am saying is maybe I was supposed to say something to him sooner, something about God or getting to know him on a more personal level or just something that would give him hope...and I didn't. He was just a work friend to me.
I know it's impractical and potentially dangerous to just be friends with everyone. Unless God guides me to, I'm not going to go downtown and preach to a gang (and even then, it would have to be a strong guidance). I also recognize that it can be a bad idea to hang out with people who do things that you struggle with. A person struggling with lust might not be the best evangelist to a prostitute, for example. Yet how many people do we pass every day who look like maybe they just want someone to talk to? Like they're trying to see a glimmer of hope in a life that's falling apart at the seams? Like they need Jesus?
Maybe it's time for me to edit my friends list in a different way, not in cutting people, but in finding people who really need, not another friend, but a true Friend.
There's so-and-so who friended me and I know I knew them in college, but we were never really friends, so he's gone. Here's a woman I dated a few times, but she's far enough away that our paths will never cross and I think she's seeing someone else anyway, so sayonara to her. There's another person who can't seem to have a conversation with me without telling me how awful their life is, so adios.
Some of the reasons I use to clean up my friends list may be perfectly valid; others, perhaps not. But I've rarely gone out with the intention of meeting people, much less adding them to my friends list. It's not just that I'm introverted, it's that my friendships just sort of happen. I don't actively seek out new people, let alone try to get a certain type of person as a friend. Granted, most of my opportunities to meet new people comes through church, so the variety of my pool is a bit limited, but even if it wasn't, would I actively seek out those who need a friend the most?
We all need friends, whether Christian or not, but those without Christ need not just me as their friend, but an example of what Christ is like. Do we really show that to people? Do we seek out opportunities to do it? Jesus didn't hang out with the church crowd all the time. Yes, He spoke in synagogues and talked to Pharisees and Sadducees, but He also made fast friends with prostitutes, tax collectors (who were essentially government-sanctioned thieves), adulterers, and other such "unholy" people.
I once had dinner with a former prostitute. I was going for a walk back when I lived in Tulsa and she wanted someone to escort her to IHOP across several parking lots and then across a street. It was pretty late and the parking lots were dark, so I agreed to that and then she insisted on buying me dinner and she told me her story. She'd gotten saved a few years before that night and was trying to get into the college I'd just graduated from. I listened and thought it was a good story, but I honestly don't know if I'd have had dinner with her if she was a prostitute at the time. I almost certainly wouldn't have sought out her company to hear her story and talk to her about God. I don't think about such things often now and I don't have that many opportunities (or perhaps I simply don't make them), but I wonder if I would take them if they appeared before me.
About a year ago, a few friends and I were coming back from a basketball game and taking the metro out to a station. There was a woman who was trying to hold it in, but was crying and obviously in deep emotional pain. I felt an urge to talk to her, but I didn't. I was afraid of her snapping at me, of making a fool of myself, of embarrassing her, and just thought she would clam up, apologize for crying, and say everything was fine.
Perhaps the most striking example, though only because I know the end result, was that someone I worked with when I first moved into the area committed suicide. He was even newer than I was and messed up big-time about a month or two in. My boss, who seemed close to the CEO, told me this guy would be fired. I felt bad, because I was getting to know this guy; he sat right next to me. This guy called me that night and asked point blank if I knew whether he was getting fired. I couldn't lie to him, but I told him maybe if he promised to make things right, his boss and the CEO might give him another chance. I told him to come in on Monday (this mess happened on a Friday), apologize, and work his butt off to fix it and see what happens. He mentioned something about, "If I never see you again, thanks for being a good friend." In retrospect, maybe that should have warned me more clearly, but I thought he just meant if he was fired, our paths likely wouldn't cross.
The next day, he killed himself.
I'm not saying I take responsibility for his decision or that it's my fault this happened. What I am saying is maybe I was supposed to say something to him sooner, something about God or getting to know him on a more personal level or just something that would give him hope...and I didn't. He was just a work friend to me.
I know it's impractical and potentially dangerous to just be friends with everyone. Unless God guides me to, I'm not going to go downtown and preach to a gang (and even then, it would have to be a strong guidance). I also recognize that it can be a bad idea to hang out with people who do things that you struggle with. A person struggling with lust might not be the best evangelist to a prostitute, for example. Yet how many people do we pass every day who look like maybe they just want someone to talk to? Like they're trying to see a glimmer of hope in a life that's falling apart at the seams? Like they need Jesus?
Maybe it's time for me to edit my friends list in a different way, not in cutting people, but in finding people who really need, not another friend, but a true Friend.
Monday, February 21, 2011
All The Time
I had a weekend that made me question God's goodness. The details of all that happened aren't important (well, not for purposes of this post. I haven't even told my closest friends what happened.), but my questioning of God is.
We just have a different view of good than God does. Our view of good is what we want; His view of good is what we need. Even keeping that in mind, though, doesn't make it easy to trust that God is good if you can't see how something in your life is going to help you in any way.
We humans are terrible at a lot of things: putting others ahead of ourselves consistently, focusing on the future and not the present, focusing on the big picture and not the little things, remembering that what is invisible can be more important than what we can see or touch, and (for me, at least) singing. But one thing we're very good at is looking for reasons behind things. Even four-year-olds constantly ask "Why?" about almost everything around them. As adults, we can take a lot of things if only we know the reason for them.
And perhaps that's what made me question this weekend whether God is truly good. I had something bad happen and can't find the reason for it; thus, God is not always good...or so goes my logic. If that is the case, then it is not that I don't always get what I want that makes me question His goodness, but that there is uncertainty. I'm willing to accept that which will hurt me initially if it will help me long-term, but not willing to accept pain without reason. It's the uncertainty that made me question Him.
Anyone who's spent time around a four-year-old knows there comes a point in time in which the target of their questions runs out of answers, throws up their hands, and says, "Because!" It might not be a bad strategy for me in seeking an answer. I can ask why all I want, but at the end of the day, what happened happened. There's nothing I can really do about it, no way I can change it. All that there is left to do is trust God, just because...He is good...all the time.
We just have a different view of good than God does. Our view of good is what we want; His view of good is what we need. Even keeping that in mind, though, doesn't make it easy to trust that God is good if you can't see how something in your life is going to help you in any way.
We humans are terrible at a lot of things: putting others ahead of ourselves consistently, focusing on the future and not the present, focusing on the big picture and not the little things, remembering that what is invisible can be more important than what we can see or touch, and (for me, at least) singing. But one thing we're very good at is looking for reasons behind things. Even four-year-olds constantly ask "Why?" about almost everything around them. As adults, we can take a lot of things if only we know the reason for them.
And perhaps that's what made me question this weekend whether God is truly good. I had something bad happen and can't find the reason for it; thus, God is not always good...or so goes my logic. If that is the case, then it is not that I don't always get what I want that makes me question His goodness, but that there is uncertainty. I'm willing to accept that which will hurt me initially if it will help me long-term, but not willing to accept pain without reason. It's the uncertainty that made me question Him.
Anyone who's spent time around a four-year-old knows there comes a point in time in which the target of their questions runs out of answers, throws up their hands, and says, "Because!" It might not be a bad strategy for me in seeking an answer. I can ask why all I want, but at the end of the day, what happened happened. There's nothing I can really do about it, no way I can change it. All that there is left to do is trust God, just because...He is good...all the time.
Monday, February 14, 2011
Addictions
Our pastor is talking about addictions now, what they are and why we can't stop. Most people know what they really are: things we do because we believe they will ease our pain and make us happy...at least for a little while. Whether the addiction has a physical component like many drugs or is purely mental, they're all attempts at escape.
In a discussion group we have after the sermon, one woman told of a recent high school grad she knew who smokes marijuana often because, according to him, it's the one thing that keeps him from committing suicide. I've had other addictions for the same reason, to restore just one shred of the happiness that was missing from my world.
And we can get addicted to pretty much anything, even things that are normally good. I've known someone who was addicted to volunteering and burnt himself out. Others can be addicted to being around people, work, shopping, or a bunch of other things we don't normally consider addictions or that we don't consider to be as bad as being addicted to sex, drugs, alcohol, and gambling.
In a way, though, these lesser addictions can be more dangerous. The point of addictions is escape from something, usually a certain high level of stress. It's easy to realize a drug addiction is dangerous, but how bad could an addiction to work really be? You make a lot of money to support your family, get a lot done, get the respect of coworkers, and might even be able to retire a few years early.
One problem with this is that if you're addicted, you'll never be able to stop working, even if you have the money to. A bigger problem is that as long as you keep telling yourself it's not an addiction or, perhaps worse, that it's a positive addiction, the longer you'll keep using it to ignore the problem you're escaping from.
And what are we trying to escape from? I want you to ask yourself that question. I also want you to honestly examine your life for any behavior that may be an addiction. In my life, I have one of the "lesser evil" addictions, yet it sucks dozens of hours of my time away each week.
Then I want you to think about how to break these addictions. I'm going to think about it, too (because I really don't know for sure). It's too easy to say "give it up to God," and, though that's certainly a part of it, what does that mean on a practical level?
For me, on a practical level, it means I'm going to start limiting the time spent on hulu and video games (my lesser evil addiction), particularly during work hours. I might even turn off my wireless internet card to make accessing hulu impossible. I will also have to fill my time with something more wholesome while not getting addicted to my replacement.
The real issue, though, is I have to find what I'm trying to escape from and deal with it with God's help. It's not enough to change habits; we have to change our hearts. We have to replace what we feel will give us happiness with what will truly satisfy us. Otherwise, we'll all be addicted to trying to please ourselves.
In a discussion group we have after the sermon, one woman told of a recent high school grad she knew who smokes marijuana often because, according to him, it's the one thing that keeps him from committing suicide. I've had other addictions for the same reason, to restore just one shred of the happiness that was missing from my world.
And we can get addicted to pretty much anything, even things that are normally good. I've known someone who was addicted to volunteering and burnt himself out. Others can be addicted to being around people, work, shopping, or a bunch of other things we don't normally consider addictions or that we don't consider to be as bad as being addicted to sex, drugs, alcohol, and gambling.
In a way, though, these lesser addictions can be more dangerous. The point of addictions is escape from something, usually a certain high level of stress. It's easy to realize a drug addiction is dangerous, but how bad could an addiction to work really be? You make a lot of money to support your family, get a lot done, get the respect of coworkers, and might even be able to retire a few years early.
One problem with this is that if you're addicted, you'll never be able to stop working, even if you have the money to. A bigger problem is that as long as you keep telling yourself it's not an addiction or, perhaps worse, that it's a positive addiction, the longer you'll keep using it to ignore the problem you're escaping from.
And what are we trying to escape from? I want you to ask yourself that question. I also want you to honestly examine your life for any behavior that may be an addiction. In my life, I have one of the "lesser evil" addictions, yet it sucks dozens of hours of my time away each week.
Then I want you to think about how to break these addictions. I'm going to think about it, too (because I really don't know for sure). It's too easy to say "give it up to God," and, though that's certainly a part of it, what does that mean on a practical level?
For me, on a practical level, it means I'm going to start limiting the time spent on hulu and video games (my lesser evil addiction), particularly during work hours. I might even turn off my wireless internet card to make accessing hulu impossible. I will also have to fill my time with something more wholesome while not getting addicted to my replacement.
The real issue, though, is I have to find what I'm trying to escape from and deal with it with God's help. It's not enough to change habits; we have to change our hearts. We have to replace what we feel will give us happiness with what will truly satisfy us. Otherwise, we'll all be addicted to trying to please ourselves.
Sunday, February 13, 2011
Take It All Away
I've been thinking a lot lately about why some people are so closed to the message of the Gospel. The real message is that God loves everyone, that we need salvation, but that salvation is a free gift for us. Who could hate such a message?
My first answer was that the message was being misrepresented and that's true. Many Christians are protesting loudly things like the legalization of homosexual marriage and some (*cough*Westboro Baptist Church*cough*) are making national headlines by protesting at funerals. Whether well-intentioned or not, the message from such protests is that the person is not ok, not lovable, not accepted...until they've changed and become more like the protesters.
But Jesus never demanded that people be like Him before He loved them. He didn't make them get saved before He healed them. They simply had to have faith that He could heal them, which is the same faith they might have accorded to one of the prophets. He hung out with prostitutes, tax collectors, adulterers, and thieves (that last one literally), but didn't seem to have made many friends in the church. His message is not that we have to be perfect, but that we can't be and yet He loves us anyway and offers to save us from ourselves.
The message has been corrupted by the church. People hear, "You're not good enough because you're not saved." Who would want a God that will only love them if they're perfect, since everyone knows they're not? Who would trust someone who spread such a message, since that person is a hypocrite?
Now, though, I think there's another reason why it's so hard for many non-Christians to believe. I have several friends who grew up in non-Christian homes or who rebelled as teens. Underage drinking, drugs, sex, shoplifting, and other things were done regularly, with sex being the one they were often most addicted to. When they became Christians, it was difficult for them to let go of that past life. Even if they were no longer committing the actions, they were thinking about doing them, longing to do them.
For someone without Christ, that may well be how they see the message: "Ok, I get salvation, but I have to wait until I'm dead to use it. You have no proof of an afterlife, so there's a chance I'm wasting my only chance to be happy. Also, if I can be saved any time before I die, why should I be saved now? I don't want to give up sex [or whatever else is their idol] because it's the only thing I have that makes me happy. Sure, it makes me miserable and empty at times, too, but it's all I have."
Read that last sentence again. People will defend the best thing they have in their lives, rather than risk losing it, even if the thing they're defending is hurting more than helping. When we as Christians go out and preach the Gospel, we have to understand that the world has these things that are slowly killing them (and that they probably know are slowly killing them), but that they can't give up because they have nothing better to replace it with. We can't just tell them to give up what they're doing. To be honest, I'm not even sure we're supposed to preach that at least until we've shown them something better and they understand that it's better. How can we expect them to change without motivation? It's hard enough to change even with motivation!
One of my friends has a quote from me on a sticky note that says, "God is like a garbageman: He will only take what you leave out for Him." I was half right. What I didn't say is that He gives you what you need to leave it out for Him, too. By that I mean few people would throw out a computer before they have a new one. You throw out the old once you have something better. If I don't have enough of God in my life, I will fill that void with whatever I can and hold on to that garbage. With God in there, I can let go, put that out by the curb. I can finally let Him take it all away.
My first answer was that the message was being misrepresented and that's true. Many Christians are protesting loudly things like the legalization of homosexual marriage and some (*cough*Westboro Baptist Church*cough*) are making national headlines by protesting at funerals. Whether well-intentioned or not, the message from such protests is that the person is not ok, not lovable, not accepted...until they've changed and become more like the protesters.
But Jesus never demanded that people be like Him before He loved them. He didn't make them get saved before He healed them. They simply had to have faith that He could heal them, which is the same faith they might have accorded to one of the prophets. He hung out with prostitutes, tax collectors, adulterers, and thieves (that last one literally), but didn't seem to have made many friends in the church. His message is not that we have to be perfect, but that we can't be and yet He loves us anyway and offers to save us from ourselves.
The message has been corrupted by the church. People hear, "You're not good enough because you're not saved." Who would want a God that will only love them if they're perfect, since everyone knows they're not? Who would trust someone who spread such a message, since that person is a hypocrite?
Now, though, I think there's another reason why it's so hard for many non-Christians to believe. I have several friends who grew up in non-Christian homes or who rebelled as teens. Underage drinking, drugs, sex, shoplifting, and other things were done regularly, with sex being the one they were often most addicted to. When they became Christians, it was difficult for them to let go of that past life. Even if they were no longer committing the actions, they were thinking about doing them, longing to do them.
For someone without Christ, that may well be how they see the message: "Ok, I get salvation, but I have to wait until I'm dead to use it. You have no proof of an afterlife, so there's a chance I'm wasting my only chance to be happy. Also, if I can be saved any time before I die, why should I be saved now? I don't want to give up sex [or whatever else is their idol] because it's the only thing I have that makes me happy. Sure, it makes me miserable and empty at times, too, but it's all I have."
Read that last sentence again. People will defend the best thing they have in their lives, rather than risk losing it, even if the thing they're defending is hurting more than helping. When we as Christians go out and preach the Gospel, we have to understand that the world has these things that are slowly killing them (and that they probably know are slowly killing them), but that they can't give up because they have nothing better to replace it with. We can't just tell them to give up what they're doing. To be honest, I'm not even sure we're supposed to preach that at least until we've shown them something better and they understand that it's better. How can we expect them to change without motivation? It's hard enough to change even with motivation!
One of my friends has a quote from me on a sticky note that says, "God is like a garbageman: He will only take what you leave out for Him." I was half right. What I didn't say is that He gives you what you need to leave it out for Him, too. By that I mean few people would throw out a computer before they have a new one. You throw out the old once you have something better. If I don't have enough of God in my life, I will fill that void with whatever I can and hold on to that garbage. With God in there, I can let go, put that out by the curb. I can finally let Him take it all away.
Monday, February 7, 2011
The God of Traffic Lights and Parking Spots
There is a notoriously long light near where I live that I almost always seem to get to just as it's turning red for the arrow left. I wait for three or four minutes for it to turn, usually impatiently, particularly since if I had been just ten seconds earlier, I could have saved myself four minutes. Yesterday, I was running a couple minutes late for church and I got to this light just as it turned yellow on the cross road, so I got the green arrow within seconds of stopping. I looked upward and said a little thank you to God and then a thought hit me:
Why am I more grateful this morning that a traffic light went in my favor than I am for the gift of salvation?
I didn't know what to say. I'm not even sure I know the answer, even though I've had a full day since then to think about it.
I think there are several reasons. First is that we tend to forget about or take for granted things we already have. Most people in the world still don't have their own laptop, their own car, a GPS, and an HDTV, yet here I'm typing merrily away on the first, with the others at my disposal and I haven't thought about them today until I typed this. I haven't thought about how grateful I am to have a mother that sacrificed so much for us or friends that are still friends even after...I've shown how human I am.
I treat salvation like this. I have it, and so it's not important enough to me to think about every day. What I think about every day instead are the things I don't have and really want.
Perhaps the real problem is that I see the goal as having been accomplished. I have salvation. Yay! Now on to something else. The reality is that even though I will go to Heaven when I die, the journey is just starting. I have lived nearly 30 years. This means, statistically, that I have about 50 to go. Considering that I'm living healthier now and have never smoked, drank all that much, done drugs, or often tried risky and dangerous things, and also that longevity runs in the family, it's not out of the question that I could hit 90 or even 100. In other words, I still probably have nearly 2/3 (possibly more) of my life yet to live.
In my near 30 years, I've learned so much, developed all sorts of good and bad characteristics, corrected some of the bad ones, seen some of the good ones wane, and have become an overall better person in the last three years. I had put my life on hold for five years after college (and in some ways, even the last two years), but I know I need to get it moving again.
I am playing Final Fantasy VII for probably the twentieth time and I love the game not only for the story and gameplay, but for how I level up. I get stronger through new weapons, abilities, armor, and levels. I don't feel this way in the real world. I don't feel like I've improved too much in most areas and I need that sense of accomplishment and progress. The reality, though, is that I am still a low-level Christian, with so much room for growth, so many battles left to fight, and prizes far greater than anything found in a game waiting for me to discover them.
I think another part of the problem is that we focus too much on what's right in front of us. At my old job, we had a phrase "putting out fires" to describe our general mindset. We would ignore things until they became an emergency and then have to deal with them. Because we didn't proactively deal with issues very well, it was one fire after another, leaving us little time to think ahead, so the problem was cyclical. My life tends to be like that. I focus on what I want, not what I need, and so I have neither most of the time, which leaves me wanting what I want even more.
We forget not only that there is something greater than us and our wants, but also that there is a future. When I'm stuck at a light and know I'm going to be late somewhere, I'm not thinking that it probably doesn't matter to anyone but me when I show up or that by tomorrow, everyone who does notice will probably have forgotten anyway, or that a week from now I won't even think about it again; I'm thinking that I can't fail them or embarrass myself by not being punctual.
During all this, I forget that God loves me sometimes. I question how good He is because He's letting me be late by not making the traffic light go my way, forgetting what Jesus did for me, how much attention God gives to everything I do, and how deep His mercy runs for me. I try to remind myself of it at times, but I often make Him the God of Traffic Lights and Parking Spots more than the God of my life. I wish I could find a way to see Him as glorious and amazing as He really is...and remember it the next time I'm stuck at that light.
Why am I more grateful this morning that a traffic light went in my favor than I am for the gift of salvation?
I didn't know what to say. I'm not even sure I know the answer, even though I've had a full day since then to think about it.
I think there are several reasons. First is that we tend to forget about or take for granted things we already have. Most people in the world still don't have their own laptop, their own car, a GPS, and an HDTV, yet here I'm typing merrily away on the first, with the others at my disposal and I haven't thought about them today until I typed this. I haven't thought about how grateful I am to have a mother that sacrificed so much for us or friends that are still friends even after...I've shown how human I am.
I treat salvation like this. I have it, and so it's not important enough to me to think about every day. What I think about every day instead are the things I don't have and really want.
Perhaps the real problem is that I see the goal as having been accomplished. I have salvation. Yay! Now on to something else. The reality is that even though I will go to Heaven when I die, the journey is just starting. I have lived nearly 30 years. This means, statistically, that I have about 50 to go. Considering that I'm living healthier now and have never smoked, drank all that much, done drugs, or often tried risky and dangerous things, and also that longevity runs in the family, it's not out of the question that I could hit 90 or even 100. In other words, I still probably have nearly 2/3 (possibly more) of my life yet to live.
In my near 30 years, I've learned so much, developed all sorts of good and bad characteristics, corrected some of the bad ones, seen some of the good ones wane, and have become an overall better person in the last three years. I had put my life on hold for five years after college (and in some ways, even the last two years), but I know I need to get it moving again.
I am playing Final Fantasy VII for probably the twentieth time and I love the game not only for the story and gameplay, but for how I level up. I get stronger through new weapons, abilities, armor, and levels. I don't feel this way in the real world. I don't feel like I've improved too much in most areas and I need that sense of accomplishment and progress. The reality, though, is that I am still a low-level Christian, with so much room for growth, so many battles left to fight, and prizes far greater than anything found in a game waiting for me to discover them.
I think another part of the problem is that we focus too much on what's right in front of us. At my old job, we had a phrase "putting out fires" to describe our general mindset. We would ignore things until they became an emergency and then have to deal with them. Because we didn't proactively deal with issues very well, it was one fire after another, leaving us little time to think ahead, so the problem was cyclical. My life tends to be like that. I focus on what I want, not what I need, and so I have neither most of the time, which leaves me wanting what I want even more.
We forget not only that there is something greater than us and our wants, but also that there is a future. When I'm stuck at a light and know I'm going to be late somewhere, I'm not thinking that it probably doesn't matter to anyone but me when I show up or that by tomorrow, everyone who does notice will probably have forgotten anyway, or that a week from now I won't even think about it again; I'm thinking that I can't fail them or embarrass myself by not being punctual.
During all this, I forget that God loves me sometimes. I question how good He is because He's letting me be late by not making the traffic light go my way, forgetting what Jesus did for me, how much attention God gives to everything I do, and how deep His mercy runs for me. I try to remind myself of it at times, but I often make Him the God of Traffic Lights and Parking Spots more than the God of my life. I wish I could find a way to see Him as glorious and amazing as He really is...and remember it the next time I'm stuck at that light.
Monday, January 24, 2011
Hypocrite
I am about to deliver my first sermon tomorrow. I was supposed to deliver it two weeks ago, but our young adults group was snowed out both last week and the week before. I was confident those two weeks, confident in the sermon, in my ability to present it, and in myself.
This weekend changed all that. I now feel like a hypocrite for saying what I'm going to say. The message is about how to change. Tomorrow will be about the ways we fail to change, and then next week will be the true reason we fail and how to actually start a real change in our hearts. (I had to condense a three-week series to two weeks due to the cancellations.) I feel like a hypocrite because this weekend revealed to me that I hadn't changed as much as I thought I had. I'm still me. I still struggle with things that I know in my head should be given over to God, that are senseless for me to worry about and impossible for me to do anything about.
And maybe this is the best thing that could have happened for the series. I say that not only because it will make me rely on God and God alone for the delivery of the message, but it adds a strong element of honesty to it. I have the changes that have happened, thank God, but my idealistic "I'm all better now" facade that I've lied to myself with has been put away...at least for the time being.
What this weekend should have done for me is give me more compassion for those who also struggle to change. It has a little, but mostly, it fed my anger and self-hatred. Why? Because I haven't changed as much as I had thought. My heart is still mostly what it was. I still base my happiness on what others think of me and focus on all the negatives that I perceive. I still base my self-image on what I can or can't do and it kills me because it's never enough...it's never going to be enough.
I was proud of a change that had I had not accomplished and that has not been completed yet. Maybe that's why God let the other meetings be canceled, because He wanted me to be reminded of my dependence on Him in my heart and not just my head. Whatever the case, I am happy that I went through this weekend. It's good sometimes to be reminded just how easily we can become our own biggest enemies and roadblocks.
This weekend changed all that. I now feel like a hypocrite for saying what I'm going to say. The message is about how to change. Tomorrow will be about the ways we fail to change, and then next week will be the true reason we fail and how to actually start a real change in our hearts. (I had to condense a three-week series to two weeks due to the cancellations.) I feel like a hypocrite because this weekend revealed to me that I hadn't changed as much as I thought I had. I'm still me. I still struggle with things that I know in my head should be given over to God, that are senseless for me to worry about and impossible for me to do anything about.
And maybe this is the best thing that could have happened for the series. I say that not only because it will make me rely on God and God alone for the delivery of the message, but it adds a strong element of honesty to it. I have the changes that have happened, thank God, but my idealistic "I'm all better now" facade that I've lied to myself with has been put away...at least for the time being.
What this weekend should have done for me is give me more compassion for those who also struggle to change. It has a little, but mostly, it fed my anger and self-hatred. Why? Because I haven't changed as much as I had thought. My heart is still mostly what it was. I still base my happiness on what others think of me and focus on all the negatives that I perceive. I still base my self-image on what I can or can't do and it kills me because it's never enough...it's never going to be enough.
I was proud of a change that had I had not accomplished and that has not been completed yet. Maybe that's why God let the other meetings be canceled, because He wanted me to be reminded of my dependence on Him in my heart and not just my head. Whatever the case, I am happy that I went through this weekend. It's good sometimes to be reminded just how easily we can become our own biggest enemies and roadblocks.
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
Namaste
I have a friend and former coworker from India. She recently wrote a blog entry about the real meaning of "Namaste." If you've ever done yoga, you've probably heard of this pose or had the instructor say it to you on your way out. I just started yoga as part of the P90X program, but I didn't know what it meant. It means, "In you I see the divine."
As a non-Christian, my friend embraced this concept, that there's something divine in all of us, from a child's smile to a stranger's tears to our dreams about our destiny. I got to thinking about whether I can agree with this as a Christian.
On the one hand, I'm not divine. I'm a sinner. I'm not worthy of worship, nor am I perfect. The definition of divine I usually go with is being God-like or proceeding directly from God and being holy and pure. That definition doesn't really describe any of us, does it?
And yet, the Bible says God created us in His image. We have our emotions, inherent sense of justice, ability to love (even though ours is impure), and free will from Him. Moreover, 1 Peter 1:16 commands us, "Be you holy, as I am holy." We're supposed to become more Christlike as we draw closer to God, not in any sense that we become worthier of worship, but that we become examples to others of God's love for them. When people see us, they see the change Jesus has worked through us.
In my friend's blog, this divinity was based on who the person was and not the Creator. Should we not be trying, though, to make that a true statement when people look at us, "In you I see the Divine"? In you, I see the love of God. In you, I see an example of what God wants people to be. Namaste.
As a non-Christian, my friend embraced this concept, that there's something divine in all of us, from a child's smile to a stranger's tears to our dreams about our destiny. I got to thinking about whether I can agree with this as a Christian.
On the one hand, I'm not divine. I'm a sinner. I'm not worthy of worship, nor am I perfect. The definition of divine I usually go with is being God-like or proceeding directly from God and being holy and pure. That definition doesn't really describe any of us, does it?
And yet, the Bible says God created us in His image. We have our emotions, inherent sense of justice, ability to love (even though ours is impure), and free will from Him. Moreover, 1 Peter 1:16 commands us, "Be you holy, as I am holy." We're supposed to become more Christlike as we draw closer to God, not in any sense that we become worthier of worship, but that we become examples to others of God's love for them. When people see us, they see the change Jesus has worked through us.
In my friend's blog, this divinity was based on who the person was and not the Creator. Should we not be trying, though, to make that a true statement when people look at us, "In you I see the Divine"? In you, I see the love of God. In you, I see an example of what God wants people to be. Namaste.
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