I'm on a boat!

My mother is going through a rough time right now. She has been diagnosed with fibromyalgia, Chronic Pain Syndrome, a degenerative back condition, and a pancreatic tumor. She gets migraines constantly, too, and a recent mammogram showed some suspicious-looking spots. She's been out of work on disability for almost three years now. My faith in God when this all started was pretty much nil. I hated Him, to be honest, for letting all this happen.

Then, He started working on me, beginning about April of last year, but really picking up speed in November, and then kicking it into overdrive at the beginning of this past May. I can easily find my peace in Him now...

Or so I thought. My mother just got out of the hospital for yet another problem. This time, her heart, pancreas, and liver teemed with enzymes and made her feel like she was having a heart attack. She had a friend take her to the hospital where they found the real culprits, but not the reason behind them. They don't think it was the pancreatic tumor, but rather all of her pain medications that were causing it.

It was bad news, because the only cure would be to get her off her medications, but that would mean no way to cope with the pain from the other ailments. I was at a party when I heard and ended up having to leave early so that I didn't bring down anyone else. I got home and opened the Bible to Mark 4. Over my years of ignoring the Bible, I had forgotten a lot of references, even though I still knew a lot of quotes and stories.

In Mark 4:35-41, Jesus tells his disciples that he wants them to cross to the other side of a sea. While they're crossing, a storm arose and waves washed over the boat, threatening to sink it. The disciples found Jesus sleeping in the stern, woke Him up, and said, "Teacher, do you not care that we are perishing?" Jesus got up, calmed the storm, and then rebuked them for their lack of faith.

Jesus was in the boat with them. How could the disciples believe that God would let Jesus perish along with them? As long as Jesus was there, they were perfectly safe. Jesus wasn't even concerned with the storm, because He knew it had no ability to harm Him. He was taking a nap!

And sometimes, that's how it seems in our lives. We know we have Jesus on our side, but it just feels like the storms of life are about to overwhelm us and, instead of lending a hand or just calming the storms, Jesus is snoozing in the stern. It is but a trial of our faith, for God is still in the boat with us. He doesn't have to be - Jesus could have walked on water or teleported as He did later - but He chooses to be, and as long as He is in the boat with us, no storm in life can sink us.