Armored

During our young adults group tonight, the conversation at our table turned to why we don't lead each other. From there, it went to why we're not comfortable with each other, with the logical answer being that we fear judgment, which ultimately (my interpretation at least) means we fear being alone. There was agreement that there will always be people you are closer to, but I wonder how much of that is God's will for us as a body.

There was a point made that our schedules often don't allow us time to be close to more than one or two people. That is valid to a certain extent, but to how great an extent? Even if it is valid to be close to that few people, why does it take us so long to be comfortable with them? The reason goes back to our fear of how they will react when we drop our armor and let them know the real us.

I can't control others. I want others to come to me with their issues because I really do enjoy helping them and hearing their stories, but I can't make them do that. All I can do is control how I act - and even that is only by God's grace - and try to be as open as I can be. The reason we're so skittish around others is frankly because we have reason to be. Our love is always conditional, but much more so when there is not a longstanding relationship there already. We're judgmental. It's a part of our fallen human natures.

But what are we doing to make others more comfortable with us? Are we trying to be the kind of person that they feel comfortable around? Or are we so busy holding up our own armor that we can't help them set theirs down?

When I've had arguments with people, it happens that at least one of us starts getting defensive. It leads to a counter-attack more often than not, which makes the other person defensive. Neither side is open to hearing much of anything at that point because they're too busy trying to keep from getting hurt to realize the real issue at hand. On a global scale, this was epitomized in the Cold War. Progress is only made when both sides set down their weapons and armor and talk about things. Fear of being hurt is the prevention of progress with both people and nations.

So how do we help people get rid of their fear of being hurt? By disarming ourselves. This includes both arms and armor. We need to drop the sword of our pride (usually disguised as our tongue), lose the dagger that we've used before to stab others in the back when they hurt us, and break the bows and arrows of gossip that we use to shoot down our would-be friends from afar. We can only do these things by having a heart for people, and we can only have a true heart for people when we have a heart for God, for He has to help us love people like only He can.

For our armor, we need to lay down the shield we keep up that deflects all the jokes and barbs at our expense, take off the helmet of our vanity, loosen and let fall the breastplate of our fears of being pierced through the heart, and remove the gauntlets that protect the works of our hands as fiercely as our hands themselves. And we can only do that when we have put our trust in God to protect us and not ourselves, when we realize that it is His love we truly need and not other peoples', when we can go to Him as naked spiritually and emotionally as we were physically at birth and know that He loves us as we are and that is all the approval we really need.

Where does this start? It starts with you, going to God and asking Him to give you a realization of how much He loves you and how much that matters. It is a pride-destroying, fear-obliterating love that leaves you knowing how weak you are, yet so much stronger because of Whom you trust in. You need no armor when you have nothing to fear, and no weapons when you wish no harm on anyone.