The Little Things in Life

I struggle with depression. I have since I was about 16. It comes and goes and can last anywhere from two days to three weeks. I've never had someone able to snap me out of it before, despite people's best efforts at talking to me, sometimes for over an hour and trying their hardest to sympathize. It has always been simply a matter of time before I start coming out of it.

That's changed recently. I have a close friend who has found half of the secret to getting me out of these bouts (the other half being burying myself in the Bible and prayer): simply doing something nice and unexpected for me. The first time was toward the end of March. She and another friend just got some toys and candy at the dollar store and left them by my car with a card that had an encouraging Bible passage hand-written in it. The second time was just last night, when I had gone on a long walk only to find the road that I thought would have a sidewalk for miles became a small one-lane-each-way-with-no-shoulder-in-the-middle-of-a-forest road. I called her to ask if she'd look up another way for me to return home and, once she found where I was, she insisted on coming to pick me up.

Two small gestures, nothing earth-shattering about either one, nothing expensive or over-the-top - but they made a world of difference to me. This morning, I had the opportunity to do something small for her to thank her and it seemed to make her day. I've seen a few postings on facebook from guys who tell everyone what kind of meal their wives made them and then each claim that they have the best wife on the planet.

The point in all this is not to relate a couple anecdotes; it is to serve as a reminder that grand sweeping gestures are not the only way to have a dramatic effect on someone. It is the small things in life, particularly the unexpected blessings, that really matter to people.

As I think about this, there seem to be two keys that separate the moments that warm my heart from the moments that simply make me say, "Thank you." The first is that the special moments are unexpected. When you get a birthday present from someone really close to you, it's always nice and appreciated, but not entirely unexpected. You know that person was thinking about you for that specific reason and, while you like that they thought of you, it was an expected time to do so. When my friend thought of me, it was totally out of the blue and made me realize someone cared about me on days other than my birthday and Christmas.

The second key is that these moments are tailored to the other person. Sometimes, this means going out of your way to get them a little something they want, something they have mentioned they like, or something you think they'd like based on what you know of them. If the person you want to bless is a science nerd, get them some small science toy. If they like sports, a little Nerf football works. If they have a certain need, going above and beyond what they ask to meet it works wonders. Or it could be as simple as a compliment directed very specifically at them, naming something they've done and extolling it and offering some encouragement.

I believe that God can heal our hearts without using other people. He's God, He can do as He pleases. But I do think that He most often wants to use us to help each other, to reach out and love one another as He has loved us. While we were not even aware that we needed Him, He was dying for us. In our deepest need, He went above and beyond anything we could ever have deserved. He tailors His response to our prayers to our individual hearts and He knows our hearts better than we do.

I would encourage you all to find someone today who needs to have their mood brightened, and do something to brighten it. If everyone around you seems content, try to make one of their days. It is not the little moments that keep us going between the big moments; it is the little moments that can make the biggest differences.