Learning Curve

I enjoy math. The answers are either right or wrong, with no gray area. There can be multiple answers to some problems, but most have only one solution. Yet, there is a beauty in the math that I think a lot of people miss. There are just so many ways there are to come to that solution, as well as all the patterns that develop even in the most mundane things. 11*11=121. 111*111=12,321. And so on.

I remember learning multiplication when I was a little kid. I already knew addition and subtraction, so after my mom taught me multiplication, I asked if division was simply the opposite because it made sense to me for it to have an opposite, since addition did. She said yes, gave me an example, then gave me another one with longer division and that was it. My learning curve was very steep.

Well, in math, anyway. In life, it seems to be a different story. I've learned about God's goodness over the past few years and how futile it is to fight against God. I've learned about how He wants the best for me and how His love for me isn't dependent on what I do. I've learned about His power and faithfulness and how He's better than the other things I'm seeking. And yet...

And yet, I get distracted from His calling on my life. I forget some of the lessons I've learned and have to re-learn them. I forget how seeking my value in what my friends think of me will never make me happy or feel valuable enough. I forget that the money is really His and I'm just a steward.

I'm not beating myself up over this. It's not what God wants me to do. I do, however, have to question why my learning curve for this isn't as high as it is for math or Excel. How is it I can learn those lessons just once, but I have to learn life lessons over and over, despite getting sharper repercussions for failing life's little tests?

I know it's a heart issue. (Always is.) And it's now time for me to get back to school, learning about God, whether for the 1st time or the 100th.